I went speed dating at 24, and they didn’t put an age limit on it. What would you do when one of the men sitting across from you has ZERO teeth?!
But the worst part, when the host almost didn’t let me in and asked my then college best friend “wait, how old is she…she looks 13?!” as we walked in. Ughhhh. I NEVER LOOKED MY AGE!!!
Until 2 weekends ago, while attending yet another conference with Destiny Global, LLC with my mentors, I hadn’t realized how much another belief my whole life, had shaped me.
Being now in my 5th year of hitting every single event, you’d think the growth, learning, or breakthroughs would stop…but they don’t.
At this event, we got the added BONUS of getting to do a service day with King's Ransom Foundation at the start and while sitting with two friends afterward it hit me WHY I have always struggled with the word “pretty”, or “cute”.
I shared how my whole life I felt like I didn’t have a voice.
Not just because I was SO deathly shy (I seriously remember people saying “does she even talk?”), but because I also had been viewed as this tiny little girl for so long.
I was always looked at as younger than I actually was. People always guessed my age and were off sometimes by decades. Sure it was great when you’re at a theme park and you can win a prize when they're wrong, but not when you want to be taken seriously or even be seen as someone worth listening to.
Add on being someone who was slow to speak if she did…I felt invisible.
Who would even want to WAIT that long for someone so slow to speak to finally build up the courage? Stuck in that place, it turned into NO VOICE for so long. It wasn’t until after my early career years that I even started to find it.
Those words, “pretty” and “cute” were the words from my little days. The little girl - who felt invisible.
Tragedy hit…and the rest is history. Leading to today, and who you now know.
But wait Jen, what was the breakthrough? I’m getting there…
A couple months ago, another incredible human, Diane Dornberger messaged me out of the blue saying “Jen!!! Have you ever had anyone tell you to look up your actual birthday in the Hebrew calendar?” I responded no, and that I hadn’t even thought of that, even through I had been leading a group of people through studying the Hebrew calendar (we operate in a Greek one today). She then shared that she didn’t say this to everyone, but felt like Yahaveh (God) was telling her to tell me to look at it. I looked it up and read all the passages that were tied to that day in Biblical history. And what were so many of the verses about?!?!?!
HIS VOICE!!!!!
Chills filled my whole body, as it me next, He had marked from birth my IDENTITY on the very day I was born with “HIS VOICE”!!!!!
And He made sure it was used in the title of the book of the one who for so long felt like she had none. I didn’t know this tie to the date of my actual birth, BEFORE I wrote my book called “Finding His Voice”!!!!!
TEARS!!!!!!!!!!
It then hit me. No wonder He just brought those memories back to mind while sitting and chatting with these 2 friends right before this next conference started?!?! He wanted me to break through that belief next. He wanted me to break through feeling like and believing that lie, that I was just a “little girl” my whole life!!
What I had believed was my CHAIN.
Like a full grown circus elephant that has ALL it needs to break free from the peg and chain that is holding it back, but as a baby was tied to it and couldn’t budge, so it learned to STAY STUCK even though it can do so much more!!!
We then went through an exercise and I asked myself next, “what needs to change in me”?
The answer that hit my spirit; "I need to step out in faith in something someone told me to do several months ago, and STOP believing that I’m just that “little girl” who doesn’t have a voice anymore!! That HIS Voice is inside of me. And He wants to GO!!"
I then walked myself through forgivnessness. Forgiveness of anyone who had been in those moments where I chose to feel like I didn’t have a voice. But who did I mostly need to forgive? ….ME. Because I had chosen to believe how I felt.
My next words; “I forgive you Jen for believing you didn’t have a voice. I chose to feel invisible, not seen, and that I was just a little girl. I chose to believe it. I release you Jen, you owe yourself nothing and I bless you with a VOICE. His voice that will reverberate through you to those who too feel like they don’t have one!!”
In that moment, I felt RELEASED to go into a brand new future!
What future is that? Well I can tell you one thing that already birthed on the other side of that moment of breakthrough!!!!
I realized EXACTLY what I do as a coach.
I help people identify why THEY are stuck, break free, figure out what they really want to do, and package what it looks like!
And the truth is, my life now shocks me, I shouldn’t be living the life I’m already living today.
…I shouldn’t have escaped confusion.
…I shouldn’t have escaped feeling like I don’t have a dad.
…I shouldn’t have escaped a mediocre life.
…I shouldn’t have escaped being that little girl that didn’t have a voice.
But guess what my friend, YOUR past…does not dictate your FUTURE!!
Just like mine didn’t.
Quoting one of my mentors Carmen O'Quinn;
“Yahaveh (God) has designed you with ALL you need, to do whatever your DESIRE is.
Ever felt like you lack something? Friend, you were designed with EVERYTHING you need to succeed. It starts with you believing it! Even if you are the underdog. How dare you doubt it! The desire was put in you for such a time as THIS!!! …your destiny is to SUCCEED!
Your desire reveals your DESTINY!!
if you’re not doing something you’re afraid of, you haven’t stepped out in faith in a little while! What have you traded it for? It’s still in there!!”