“Had a bizarre dream about you the other night…you were 300 lbs, had electric yellow pants and BLUE hair”.

“Had a bizarre dream about you the other night…you were 300 lbs, had electric yellow pants and BLUE hair”.

SAY WHAT?!?! Insert me shocked face, blank stare not knowing how to process such a thought.

A dream a friend had about me, and randomly shared.

Initially, I rejected the thought. But here and there over the last week it circled back into my thoughts. As I pondered “what is this?!…is there MORE to this that you want me to see?”. I asked my Creator. 

As this last week went by, that’s precisely what happened. An image that had I dismissed it thinking it was frivolous and had no meaning, I would have missed the depth of what He wanted me to see. Before I share what He revealed about that dream, there’s another story to first tell. 

I mentioned I’d be back sharing more authenticity with you, a few stories that happened this last weekend at Dynasty with Destiny Global, LLC. 

5 years, that’s how long I’ve now been attending events. About to roll into my 6th. If you’ve been following me you’ve probably seen the changes, followed the journey…and what’s craziest to me, is that 5 years later at yet another event here I am so unbelievably blown away by the continued treasure hunt He seems to be taking me on. 

A hunt for healing He desires to take us all on, but is up to us to continue the hunt.

Dynasty, day 1 - year 5. Amidst an exercise I’ve done countles times. And every time, there’s new treasure found. We’re instructed to take a look at our current mindset/feelings about different areas of life. Answering every one I notice a PATTERN. One word started every single response. 

What had I been programmed to believe about…

Myself? …I am HARD on me. 
Money? …HARD to come by. 
Marriage? ….HARD to hold on to or find a good one. 
People? …HARD to talk to. 
Success? …HARD to come by. 
Education? …HARD to learn. 
Politics? …HARD to change. 
Business? …HARD to grow or learn. 
People who don’t perform? …HARD To change. 
Self-image/beauty? …HARD to see. 
Failure? …HARD to believe otherwise. 
Love? …HARD to find. 
Religion? …HARD to trust. 
Men? …HARD to trust. 
Women? …HARD to keep. 

Instead of like so many previous events zero-ing in on just one of those answers, it was like a BEACON shouting in my face…WHY IS THIS HERE?!?!?!?! What is about this one WORD?! What happened next I’ll never forget;

“Man in the mirror” by Michael Jackson plays, and the words “If you wanna make the world a better place, then take a look in the mirror and make a change!”. 

In that moment it was like He had dropped a Golden Shovel right into my hands and together we were about to dig into what He had for me to find. In that moment, figurative shovel in hand, our trainer says “this is the deciding moment, looking at the man in the mirror saying THIS is where it changes!”. As she said those words the tears filled my eyes. And I flashed. 

I flashed back to right after my dad died. Suddenly remembering the DEEP feeling I had right after He did, and uttering a single phrase, a choice I made IN THAT MOMENT 18 years ago. That phrase?

“THIS DOES NOT DEFINE US!”.

It suddenly hit me...I had claimed my identity IN THE FIRE at that moment when the flames could not have been hotter!! 

Have you ever been in a moment, and you don’t know WHERE it comes from, but you can just feel it welling inside of you? A welling speaking the truth of WHO YOU ARE! Even when you don’t know it, but you can simply feel lit deep inside your soul? Is it Him?! 

I felt it back then, as I uttered that phrase so passionately. Having no idea WHY I was at the time. But man did it BURN so furiously inside me back on that day. WHO I WAS, couldn’t help but fire out! 

What if friend, what if HE was helping me FIGHT? Knowing in that moment how important identity and claiming identity was?!!!! 18 years later, now seeing what that phrase, what that fire and utterance really was deep inside my soul…I could weep. 

Circling back…to the HARD. What was this He was NOW showing me?;

As we all sat there silently processing to ourselves, I felt STUCK.

Almost as if there was a WALL in front of my eyes. I couldn’t see it. It was the first time going through this exercise that I COULDN’T see how to dig deeper. I had no idea why I felt so many things were HARD!!! 

What do you do next in that moment? I felt helpless for a moment. Having ease so many events before to do the digging. Then remembered who my Helper was. I engaged with my Creator “Father, show me the way to the root if it’s a root YOU want to remove!”. 

He asked me “Do you want to remove it?” 
I answered, “YES!!”. 
He asked me “Why?” 
I answered, “Because it keeps cycling and I feel stuck!” 
He asked again, “Why?” 
I answered, “Because it’s too hard.” 
He asked again, “Why?” 
I answered, “Because there’s so much to do, I’m doing it on my own, and I just can’t get past a certain point.” 
Again, “WHY?” 
I answered “Because I don’t know the way”. 
“WHY?” 
I answered “Because it feels bigger than me.” 

- LIGHTBULB -

…It’s BIGGER than me. Hmmm,
…it goes beyond ME.

Suddenly in that moment, He revealed the need to go further. Before me. Who came before me? Who came before them? Who came before them?!?! As I traced it from generation to generation, new depth emerged. And He led the way;

Up till now there had been a wall, but He was gently taking me through it. WHY was such a key word that took us through.

...“She did her best. She only knew what had been given to her.” 
He asked “What was given to her?” 
I answered “That life was hard. Her dad grew up in the Great Depression!” 
He answered …”Do you think that maybe there’s a BELIEF that was passed from generation to generation that LIFE is hard?!” 

I knew the next answer…….YES. 

I knew the next step, to identify all those in my lineage who had ever believed that life was hard. And as I did so, He lit it up like a pathway with lights turning on in every step as I went. It was every generation.  All the way back to my grandpa’s great aunts who had lived on SO LITTLE. I remembered the stories that had been passed. Not only was he raised by his two aunts, but one story none of us ever forgot. 

The story of the ORANGE. 

Every Christmas growing up, and in my parents history too what was one gift that we got from this grandpa? A single ORANGE. Why?  Because he grew up so poor that just an ORANGE was such a gift that brought them JOY once a year!  That’s how HARD life had been for them. A belief that carried on, generation to generation that life is HARD, and you never know when it will become HARD again. 

The 1st time in 5 years of events, I was NOW being shown a ROOT that went deeper than me, a root that went through my lineage.

A ROOT that went all the way back to the GREAT DEPRESSION! 

I was flabbergasted. But I knew the next steps;

Then walking myself through the steps of forgiveness. Forgiveness, that I walked myself back through in every generation. Every generation that the belief that life was hard had carried. And then finally with me. Why?

Because friend, your family is not responsible for your freedom. YOU ARE!

“I forgive you Jen for adopting that IDENTITY that life is hard when that’s NOT who you are!" 

I release you, you owe yourself nothing. 
I bless you with removing the LIES. 
I bless your burdens and the weights you feel with feeling LIGHT, and with being EASY. 
I bless you with knowing where your identity DOES lay. 
I bless you with knowing that it is tied to the one who says His burden is easy and light! 
I bless your identity with being NEW, new ground that is filled with JOY and not despair. 
I bless you with an abundance of new JOY.

Friend, did you catch the journey you just went on in reading this? If you haven’t yet, here it is. Here is depth I would have missed had I not engaged with my Creator in BOTH moments I shared. The bizarre dream shared of me, 300 pounds, electric yellow pants and blue hair.  And the WALL I couldn’t see past.

I had a BLOCK.

Both stories, what was my next step? I asked Him…”What is this?!? Is there something more YOU want to show me?”, and “Show me! If there’s a root, you want me to see, help me trace to it!”. 

So what did He show me about that bizarre dream? Well, He had already revealed it! He revealed it as we dug into that generational root and then the release. It was in the BLESSING. What do I mean?

I saw her, I saw her all weekend as the Blessing of JOY was spoken over me. More times than I could count. And how poetic, that JOY the animated character in Disney’s “Inside-Out” is drawn none other than with electric yellow clothing that’s just glowing and short BLUE pixie cut hair. She’s not 300 pounds

….but what IS that enormous? ….her JOY.

She’s so full of JOY she bounces around from room to room spreading it on everyone everywhere she goes. She literally carries LIGHT with her everywhere she goes. Mannnnnnn, what a GIFT! To have that dream spoken over me, and my future. That I would be, that ENORMOUS with JOY!!!! And in taking it deeper and asking Him to show me the way to release it, I receive the blessing of speaking it over my life after releasing so much DESPAIR! 

What a gift! 

Friend, why do I share all this? Sharing so much transparency and being this authentic with you is not for me. I’ve already gone through it. Going through it was for me. But now sharing it, sharing this, is for YOU! And don’t get me wrong, it is NOT easy. But is it worth it? Yes. 10000% yes. Why? Because YOU are worth it! Because I care about YOUR freedom just as much as I do mine. 

Have you ever felt like your life has been STUCK?

Have you ever felt like there’s a WALL in front of you and you just can’t see past it? You have an enemy of your soul, and the battleground is YOUR mind. "What are YOU a prisoner of? You are a prisoner of your thoughts. As a man thinks so He will be!" - Carmen O'Quinn

If you’re ready to get to the OTHER side of that stuck friend, it’s time for a NEW experience. 

Why? "Because whatever it is that you believe about your life, is what your future will be!" - Carmen O'quinn

Man, I sure want my future to be full of ENORMOUS JOY!!! 

As we start to look at 2023, friend what life do YOU want?

As we roll into this next year I’m going to be working with just 4 people who are ready to dive THIS deep, they're ready to engage with their creator in ways they haven’t before, and they're ready to do the work to really identify who they ARE, really figure out what it is that they are designed to do, and then…to launch it to the world! Why? Because I know how hard it is to do alone. 

And the same shovel, the same golden shovel that was dropped into my hands I want to give to you! Why do I continue to go to these events? Why am sharing all that I share? Why am I passionate about connecting those who need help with those who have overcome?  Because I don’t just go for me and my own continued journey of healing. I go for YOU. 

If you’re ready for 2023 to look different, I want to partner with you to help you walk into it.

If this resonates with you click the button below!

And if you’re not ready yet friend, it’s ok. I’ll still be cheering you on. 

Go LIGHT up the world, with YOUR story! 

I believe in you!