Have you ever had something you KEPT beating yourself up for?

It’s crazy how much we can be the one who is most BRUTAL to ourselves. To our own mind. Our thoughts. And our own progress.

We can literally be the very ONE who is keeping us from everything that we’ve ever wanted.

But how many of us give time, and space to work through those very things?

Over time, without doing so, they gnaw at you. Continuing to take bites out of everything you’re suppose to be! And at times you don’t even realize it!!

Ever found yourself wishing that “thing” could just be ERASED? 

Me too.

FORGIVING myself is and has been the hardest thing for me. 

Last night I was on a call with some amazing friends in the Destiny Global community and something came out of me I wasn’t expecting. 

Digging deeper I shared how ”I was having a hard time forgiving myself because I LOVED my Yahaveh more than anything else in this life and I didn’t want to disappoint him!!!” as the tears streamed down my face.

But what’s beautiful about what I shared next. Is that my Yahaveh had SEEN me, and what He had just recently done about that very thought. 

I then shared about just a few days ago how another friend who has NEVER had me in their dreams had a dream with me in it. In the dream we were on the beach looking at our shadows in the sand. We were writing in the sand and there was just one word written…”FORGIVEN”.

Here I was STRUGGLING to forgive myself, despite knowing that how I was thinking, was NOT how my God viewed me. I knew if He could hear my thoughts, he would SHOUT his epic love for me and tell me how wrong my thoughts were.

Well, He saw my internal battle, and He SPOKE!

Just one word. The one word I needed to hear from the One, I wanted more than anything not to disappoint.

As a friend on the call then shared “Jen, sometimes there can be things that are literally like SUSPENDERS strapping us down…when we are meant to RISE!”.

The friend on the call then shared Isaiah 61 - The year of the Lord’s favor saying “Jen!!!! This is you…

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a] 2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”

This friend was right. That thing was strapping me down, when I was meant to be FREE. It had been strapping me down when I LITERALLY had Isaiah 61 tattoo-ed on my arm and she had no idea when she said it!!

When my Yahaveh LITERALLY had given his son’s life so that I could be FREE. “God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were STILL sinners!”. STILL sinners. 

Stop beating yourself up friend for THAT thing!! You were meant to be FREE!

Friend, don’t let THAT thing strap you down from what YOU were designed to do! 

~Jen