Hakuna Matata! WHAT A HORRIBLE PHRASE!

Wait. Stop, don’t hear what I’m not saying – I too LOVE the “Lion King”!! It was one of my favorite films growing up as a kid and still is. In fact, I just recently sat down to watch the film again last week with a friend, and is one of the VERY reasons this post is even happening today.

Because He (God) revealed so much MORE within it.

But before I get into the things He revealed, I’ve gotta back up to another story.

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A story that begins with the NEW year, and the start of 2023!

As we were rolling into the new year, once again there was that question hitting my spirit that so frequently has as of late…”where did this even come from? When did we start celebrating NEW years in the way that we do?”

Pondering this question at dinner with a friend, and beginning our hunt by looking up the definition of the word “new” we were flabbergasted.

Why? Well maybe like me you just assumed like I had that I knew what the word NEW fully meant!

But as my friend read outloud one definition of it “…the beginning as the resumption or repetition of a PREVIOUS act or thing!” our jaws dropped.

Wait a minute, that definition literally reveals that our entire thoughts around New Years, and a “New Me!”, and “Starting Over!” are off!! Then shouting to my friend “No wonder it’s so common for ‘new years goals’ to fail!!! Our entire thought processes around the expectation of the word NEW even means is wrong! We literally set ourselves up to FAIL!”

Why? Because by definition in order for something NEW to truly be NEW it has to be based upon a PREVIOUS act or thing! There has to be a foundation of something FIRST!

It’s not a starting over!! But a BUILDING upon what’s already been done!

OH. MY. GOLLY.

But it gets better, as the hunt didn’t stop there;

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Then looking up next “where did celebrating NEW Year’s even come from, and the giant lighted ball that falls to earth even start?”, what did we find?

Well the first known record of New Year’s celebrations began about 2000 B.C. in Mesopotamia. This occurred at the time of the vernal equinox, which is toward the end of March. Babylonians would have a religious festival named Akitu taken from the Sumerian term for barley. They’d perform various rituals, which would last for 11 days. Besides celebrating the New Year, Atiku also marked the time that Marduk, Babylonian’s sky god, defeated Tiamat, the evil sea goddess. The origin of January 1 marking the New Year specifically dates back to 46 B.C., when Julius Caesar developed the solar-based Julian calendar. This was after the old lunar-based Roman calendar became ineffective. Another reason behind making January 1 the start of the New Year was to honor Janus — the Roman god of beginnings who had two faces. To celebrate the occasion, ancient people would offer sacrifices to the god of beginnings, add laurel branches to their homes as decorations, and exchange gifts.

Can I puke now? So the entire celebration of the “new year” has been aligned to worshipping a foreign god?!?! Enter me fuming again.

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In that moment, amidst the fuming of my spirit at the deception and all the programming I had unknowingly aligned myself to for years, the hunt continued as I sought “okay, if that’s NOT my God’s design….what IS His design for the ‘new year’?

Not only was I flabbergasted already by the definition and root of the word “new” that we had found, but then learning that such a celebration wasn’t His design to just once, or twice, but FOUR times a year! Four celebrations, four “beginnings!”.

SIGN ME UP!

But what am I signup up for? Well, that’s what takes us back to “the Lion King”;

Amidst the same conversation, that night that led us to digging into the definition of the word “new”, the journey also led us into what at the time felt like a bunny trail…but wasn’t by the end.

As I stated at the start of that bunnies hop “I’ve always wondered WHY He (God) so often refers to Himself as the LION of the tribe of Judah? What is it about the LION that is so important, why a lion?”

As my friend then shares “have you ever seen that clip by Priscilla Shirer about the scene in lion king with Simba??”. I answer no. And she goes on “Simba is still a cub and is surrounded by the hyenas, he lets out a squeaky childish roar and they all laugh at him…but then, a LOUD ferocious roar follows. And they all tremble and shake at the sound! Mufasa his FATHER was then behind him!”

“THAT’S IT!!!!” I shout. “There’s so much IDENTITY in that image!. No wonder it’s a LION!!! We all struggle with identity, even when we know who we are! Even when we know we’re say a Pearl (heart), Ruby (muscles), Emerald (mind), or Sapphire (voice) - (4 personality types) - but when we know where our identity comes from, and who is behind us, we have;

The heart (pearl) of a LION!

The muscles (Ruby) of a LION!

The mind (Emerald) of a LION!

And the voice (Sapphire) of a LION!

He is a LION, and when we align with Him, we become so much more than who we are! Our identity is not just us. He is behind us! A LION is behind us. So if you’re a Ruby (strong personality) you don’t’ just have strength as your part of the body, you have the strength of a LION because He is behind you!!”

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How interesting is that when you think about the definition of the word “new”, “new years”, and how “new” is also defined as the REPITITION of a previous act or thing.

What have YOU been given since birth friend? What identify??? It’s not about starting OVER. It’s about embracing who you ARE, and who HE IS!

Did you know that lions have the ability to see in the dark?? Another friend recently shared this with me too amidst this same conversation. They have white patches under their eyes that absorb the light of the moon and allow them to see in the dark and then hunt their enemies!!

When you align with the Father and you look at His design, what is it all aligned to? The cycles of the moon!! His light! That’s what the entire history of the Bible based it’s timelines off of!

When we ALIGN with Him, our identity is in Him and He is a LION! His identity gives LIGHT and SIGHT into the darkness! It equips us with the ability to fight our enemies! To fight for our identity!

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In the Lion King, Simba’s identity was anointed at birth – Rafiki schmeared his head! And Scar (the enemy) wanted to steal Simba’s identity from brith!

We loose our identity when we start to complain and don’t know who we are; quoting young Simba “I never get to go anywhere!”.

When we chase false expectations and self gratification we end up in bad, dangerous places, young Simba ended up amidst the hyenas! But even the hyenas knew how powerful his father’s identity was, quoting the hyenas “Mufasa! I even just hear his name and I shutter!”.

Simba spent years in the jungle eating bugs (not what he was designed to eat), and running away from who he was – his real identity! Embracing a “Hakuna Matata” lifestyle of avoidance!!

It wasn’t until Rafiki says “I know your Father – He’s alive! Do you know who you are? You are Mufasa’s son!! Look harder! You see He lives in you! You can either run from your past or you can learn from it.”

Rafiki spoke identity. Identity that wasn’t BRAND NEW….identity that was there since the beginning! Identity that was behind him!

And as Simba started to reflect back, what did he hear? The VOICE of his father “Remember who you are! You are my son!”

Simba remembers who he is, who is behind him, whose son he is, and he FIGHTS his enemy, then finding his voice shouting to Scar “Everything you ever told me was a LIE!!!”.

Friend, the enemy comes to flatter you for manipulation but the Creator comes to you to edify you for identity!

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Man, now more than ever it sure is hitting me how important it is that WE KNOW WHO WE ARE.

That we know WHERE our identity comes from.

That we know WHO is behind us.

That we know WHY we participate in certain occasions.

And that we CHOOSE whose design we will follow!

Because if we don’t, we might by default be aligning with the manipulation of the enemy, who wants nothing more than for our very lights to go OUT! Because EVERYTHING HE SAYS IS A LIE!!!

And how interesting is it that on New Years, for so long we’ve sat and watched a giant ball full of lights FALL…and cheered.

I think there’s so much more out there that’s far greater, and a design from our Creator for our LIGHTS, His LIGHTS I want to find. And I’m on a hunt to continue discover it.

If you want to embark on a journey of discovering who you truly are, what He designed you to do, and then launch it to the world who needs YOU, let’s chat!

This post might be pretty unpopular.

Have you ever had a birthday ever feel unfulfilling?

No I’m not talking about the insatiableness often associated to the day, like getting that gift you really wanted or expectations around friends or family doing this or that, but rather deep down something about the day just doesn’t feel right?

You’ve wanted MORE out of the day, but not for you, for our world?

You’re not alone. And quite frankly I have a hunch there’s boatloads of people out there who are going to identify with what I’m going to share next.

But I will caution you, if you’re not ready to have a day that you MIGHT hold really dear to you turned UPSIDE DOWN then I’d stop reading now. Here is your out.

But for the curious, for the one who wants to join me on this treasure hunt, boy do I have something to show you. Something that I just recently FOUND.

And it answered that feeling in my spirit that something just felt OFF with birthdays, with every year that cycled and went by.

Just wait till you hear, what I found…

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But before I share the gold, I gotta back up a bit to what He revealed just prior.

We’re about to head into 2023! And as I pondered the coming year, and the expectations of so many things that await it, one of those is…turning 40 right smack dab in the middle of it.

40. A birthday, in our culture that is viewed as such a BAD number to hit!

All the dark jokes come to mind of being ‘over the hill’, every store has decor for such occasion and what’s the color?

…BLACK!

We even try to HIDE the fact that we are 40 when we finally hit the date never wanting to share that we’re over such an age. Why? Because “it’s all over now”.

Do you hear what I hear? SO MUCH DEATH is spoken over not only the day, but the time in our life!

What next then hit my spirit was quite the opposite. A reminder of so many stories from history of what 40 signified.

First with the story of Noah, and the ark in Genesis. When you read the account, what number shouts? 40. A number associated to a great transition.

A transition that came with leaving all they knew behind! In fact, the entire world that they knew. But then what came next?

A NEW BEGINNING.

A PROMISE.

A BLESSING.

But that wasn’t the only account that came to mind.

The second, were the Isrealites right after they left Egypt. Again when you read the account, what number shouts? 40. A number once again associated with a great transition.

A transition that came with so much expectation! After spending 40 years in the wilderness after fleeing so much captivity, what came next?

A NEW BEGINNING.

A LAND PROMISED.

A BLESSING.

But that’s not all that hit me.

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With both accounts, can you also hear how important the heart position was of those present?

What would have happened with the account of Noah if they had NOT listened or chosen to trust the Voice of their God about not only what to do, but what He was doing? That He was going to be CLEANSING the earth?

What did happen to the Isrealites, right after leaving Egypt when they chose NOT to believe that the new land was going to be given to them, that a BLESSING was going to be given to them as their INHERITANCE? They first had to wander…for 40 years!

You tell me, how IMPORTANT is it that we listen to the Voice of BELIEF. But not only the Voice of Belief, that we fully BELIEVE in our INHERITANCE?

I think something has been stolen from us…

Instead of being reminded that 40 is a time of great TRANSITION, NEW BEGINNING, PROMISE, and BLESSING. What are we told? What are we given?

So much DEATH.

I think it’s time we RECLAIM our rights to the NEW! I think it’s time we reclaim our rights to His TRUTH!

I think it’s time we REALIGN with His DESIGN for 40!

How do we do that? Well, here’s where it really gets crazy. I told you I found something. And here’s where it could get really unpopular.

We just went through another holiday, one which this year was so set-apart for me as I was welcomed in to another families celebration. And it was so set-apart.

But set-apart in ways I did not expect. What do I mean?

I mean we all were not expecting the revelation that came that evening.

A conversation that led us on a hunt, and to quite the discovery.

A discovery I’ll share next;

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As we pondered the holidays, a question hit my spirit “Why DO we even have birthday cakes and blow out candles? Where did that even come from?”

As I sat there with my friend and we did some digging. We were flabbergasted.

We found that the first cake and candles originated back in the Middle Ages. Cakes being started by the Germans during kinderfest, and candles on cakes by the Ancient Greece to honor Artemis the goddess of the moon. The lit candles on the cake represented the glow of the moon, and the smoke carried their wishes to the gods who lived in the skies. The candle were placed on the cake to represent the “light of life”.

Enter my fury, and so many more exclamations, in learning of such an origin and intent!!!!

WHAT THE FLIP FLOP?!?!

WAIT. You mean not only do birthday cakes and candles originate from worshipping a foreign god but they literally would BLOW OUT their lights?!!

AH!! And we stand in circles CLAPPING as the birthday candle blower blows their lights out?!?!!!

Aren’t we DESIGNED by THE Creator to BE A LIGHT and to let our light SHINE?!!!!

And here we are year after year, literally blowing our lights out on the day of our birth, the day associated to our IDENTITY, and coming into agreement with the opposite?!?!!

Jen is now FUMING.

Holy crap is the enemy crafty! But I’m on to him!

I’ve think we’ve got some contracts to KILL.

NO WONDER every year on our birthday’s we can feel so unfulfilled!!!!

Our own spirits KNOW something is not right! Something is WRONG with this design!

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So maybe you are now like I was wondering next…what WOULD leave us feeling fulfilled on such an occasion?

Is there more to that cycling that we should be seeing?

Even doing?

THERE IS!

If you’re anything like me, I want to go back to the most earliest design, the earliest intent of such an occasion. What do I mean?

I mean the design and intent of our creator, not man!

We all know, MAN will fail us.

As I dug deeper into history what did I find? I found so much RICHNESS. So much blessing. And so much NEW.

Did you know that the Hebrews would celebrate every birthday by speaking a BLESSING? It’s called the Shehechiyanu. “Blessed are you, Adonai, Source of all life, who has sustained us, and kept us alive, and brought us to this time!”.

But that’s just the beginning. There’s so much MORE to this day in this time in history.

But the day also weaves in Psalm 118, it weaves in gratitude and thanks, it weaves in giving back and making the world a better place, it weaves in cleansing with Mikvah-ing practices, and it weaves in a REMINDER of our very inheritance and where we came from as all this is not only said over us, but woven into our very identity intentionally on a yearly cycle of renewal!

Side note; remember what happened with the design of the flood and a “cleansing for renewal”?!!

And here we have substituted all that RICHNESS meant FOR US to yearly remind us of our very identity all the way back to creation, from generation to generation….and we’ve substituted it for a cake and candles.

Literally blowing out the light we were meant live and STAY LIT.

I don’t know about you, but I sure want to reclaim my inheritance!

I sure want to come into alignment with my Creator’s original design!

I sure cannot WAIT to turn 40 in 2023, and reclaim it all!

I don’t see death.

I SEE SO MUCH EXCITEMENT in TRANSITION.

I SEE NEW LAND!

I SEE BLESSING!

I SEE PROMISE!

I see fulfillment, on a day, on a life and a design that we speak so much death over.

As you look at YOUR identity, your birthday, even 2023 friend, what do you want?

And more importantly, are you willing to ask the hard questions? Why do we do X over and over again…were did this come from?!

Back in the beginning of this post I mentioned a hunt. A hunt for treasure He’s been taking me on. And look what was just recently found!!!!

Anyone else want to go on a hunt like that with their Creator?

I invite you to join me in the hunt for more GOLD (it's free)!

There’s an Adventure just waiting for you, to join in the hunt. A hunt for so much more GOLD. A hunt that can and will leave you with so much more FULLFILLMENT!

If that’s YOU, click the link below!

“Had a bizarre dream about you the other night…you were 300 lbs, had electric yellow pants and BLUE hair”.

SAY WHAT?!?! Insert me shocked face, blank stare not knowing how to process such a thought.

A dream a friend had about me, and randomly shared.

Initially, I rejected the thought. But here and there over the last week it circled back into my thoughts. As I pondered “what is this?!…is there MORE to this that you want me to see?”. I asked my Creator. 

As this last week went by, that’s precisely what happened. An image that had I dismissed it thinking it was frivolous and had no meaning, I would have missed the depth of what He wanted me to see. Before I share what He revealed about that dream, there’s another story to first tell. 

I mentioned I’d be back sharing more authenticity with you, a few stories that happened this last weekend at Dynasty with Destiny Global, LLC. 

5 years, that’s how long I’ve now been attending events. About to roll into my 6th. If you’ve been following me you’ve probably seen the changes, followed the journey…and what’s craziest to me, is that 5 years later at yet another event here I am so unbelievably blown away by the continued treasure hunt He seems to be taking me on. 

A hunt for healing He desires to take us all on, but is up to us to continue the hunt.

Dynasty, day 1 - year 5. Amidst an exercise I’ve done countles times. And every time, there’s new treasure found. We’re instructed to take a look at our current mindset/feelings about different areas of life. Answering every one I notice a PATTERN. One word started every single response. 

What had I been programmed to believe about…

Myself? …I am HARD on me. 
Money? …HARD to come by. 
Marriage? ….HARD to hold on to or find a good one. 
People? …HARD to talk to. 
Success? …HARD to come by. 
Education? …HARD to learn. 
Politics? …HARD to change. 
Business? …HARD to grow or learn. 
People who don’t perform? …HARD To change. 
Self-image/beauty? …HARD to see. 
Failure? …HARD to believe otherwise. 
Love? …HARD to find. 
Religion? …HARD to trust. 
Men? …HARD to trust. 
Women? …HARD to keep. 

Instead of like so many previous events zero-ing in on just one of those answers, it was like a BEACON shouting in my face…WHY IS THIS HERE?!?!?!?! What is about this one WORD?! What happened next I’ll never forget;

“Man in the mirror” by Michael Jackson plays, and the words “If you wanna make the world a better place, then take a look in the mirror and make a change!”. 

In that moment it was like He had dropped a Golden Shovel right into my hands and together we were about to dig into what He had for me to find. In that moment, figurative shovel in hand, our trainer says “this is the deciding moment, looking at the man in the mirror saying THIS is where it changes!”. As she said those words the tears filled my eyes. And I flashed. 

I flashed back to right after my dad died. Suddenly remembering the DEEP feeling I had right after He did, and uttering a single phrase, a choice I made IN THAT MOMENT 18 years ago. That phrase?

“THIS DOES NOT DEFINE US!”.

It suddenly hit me...I had claimed my identity IN THE FIRE at that moment when the flames could not have been hotter!! 

Have you ever been in a moment, and you don’t know WHERE it comes from, but you can just feel it welling inside of you? A welling speaking the truth of WHO YOU ARE! Even when you don’t know it, but you can simply feel lit deep inside your soul? Is it Him?! 

I felt it back then, as I uttered that phrase so passionately. Having no idea WHY I was at the time. But man did it BURN so furiously inside me back on that day. WHO I WAS, couldn’t help but fire out! 

What if friend, what if HE was helping me FIGHT? Knowing in that moment how important identity and claiming identity was?!!!! 18 years later, now seeing what that phrase, what that fire and utterance really was deep inside my soul…I could weep. 

Circling back…to the HARD. What was this He was NOW showing me?;

As we all sat there silently processing to ourselves, I felt STUCK.

Almost as if there was a WALL in front of my eyes. I couldn’t see it. It was the first time going through this exercise that I COULDN’T see how to dig deeper. I had no idea why I felt so many things were HARD!!! 

What do you do next in that moment? I felt helpless for a moment. Having ease so many events before to do the digging. Then remembered who my Helper was. I engaged with my Creator “Father, show me the way to the root if it’s a root YOU want to remove!”. 

He asked me “Do you want to remove it?” 
I answered, “YES!!”. 
He asked me “Why?” 
I answered, “Because it keeps cycling and I feel stuck!” 
He asked again, “Why?” 
I answered, “Because it’s too hard.” 
He asked again, “Why?” 
I answered, “Because there’s so much to do, I’m doing it on my own, and I just can’t get past a certain point.” 
Again, “WHY?” 
I answered “Because I don’t know the way”. 
“WHY?” 
I answered “Because it feels bigger than me.” 

- LIGHTBULB -

…It’s BIGGER than me. Hmmm,
…it goes beyond ME.

Suddenly in that moment, He revealed the need to go further. Before me. Who came before me? Who came before them? Who came before them?!?! As I traced it from generation to generation, new depth emerged. And He led the way;

Up till now there had been a wall, but He was gently taking me through it. WHY was such a key word that took us through.

...“She did her best. She only knew what had been given to her.” 
He asked “What was given to her?” 
I answered “That life was hard. Her dad grew up in the Great Depression!” 
He answered …”Do you think that maybe there’s a BELIEF that was passed from generation to generation that LIFE is hard?!” 

I knew the next answer…….YES. 

I knew the next step, to identify all those in my lineage who had ever believed that life was hard. And as I did so, He lit it up like a pathway with lights turning on in every step as I went. It was every generation.  All the way back to my grandpa’s great aunts who had lived on SO LITTLE. I remembered the stories that had been passed. Not only was he raised by his two aunts, but one story none of us ever forgot. 

The story of the ORANGE. 

Every Christmas growing up, and in my parents history too what was one gift that we got from this grandpa? A single ORANGE. Why?  Because he grew up so poor that just an ORANGE was such a gift that brought them JOY once a year!  That’s how HARD life had been for them. A belief that carried on, generation to generation that life is HARD, and you never know when it will become HARD again. 

The 1st time in 5 years of events, I was NOW being shown a ROOT that went deeper than me, a root that went through my lineage.

A ROOT that went all the way back to the GREAT DEPRESSION! 

I was flabbergasted. But I knew the next steps;

Then walking myself through the steps of forgiveness. Forgiveness, that I walked myself back through in every generation. Every generation that the belief that life was hard had carried. And then finally with me. Why?

Because friend, your family is not responsible for your freedom. YOU ARE!

“I forgive you Jen for adopting that IDENTITY that life is hard when that’s NOT who you are!" 

I release you, you owe yourself nothing. 
I bless you with removing the LIES. 
I bless your burdens and the weights you feel with feeling LIGHT, and with being EASY. 
I bless you with knowing where your identity DOES lay. 
I bless you with knowing that it is tied to the one who says His burden is easy and light! 
I bless your identity with being NEW, new ground that is filled with JOY and not despair. 
I bless you with an abundance of new JOY.

Friend, did you catch the journey you just went on in reading this? If you haven’t yet, here it is. Here is depth I would have missed had I not engaged with my Creator in BOTH moments I shared. The bizarre dream shared of me, 300 pounds, electric yellow pants and blue hair.  And the WALL I couldn’t see past.

I had a BLOCK.

Both stories, what was my next step? I asked Him…”What is this?!? Is there something more YOU want to show me?”, and “Show me! If there’s a root, you want me to see, help me trace to it!”. 

So what did He show me about that bizarre dream? Well, He had already revealed it! He revealed it as we dug into that generational root and then the release. It was in the BLESSING. What do I mean?

I saw her, I saw her all weekend as the Blessing of JOY was spoken over me. More times than I could count. And how poetic, that JOY the animated character in Disney’s “Inside-Out” is drawn none other than with electric yellow clothing that’s just glowing and short BLUE pixie cut hair. She’s not 300 pounds

….but what IS that enormous? ….her JOY.

She’s so full of JOY she bounces around from room to room spreading it on everyone everywhere she goes. She literally carries LIGHT with her everywhere she goes. Mannnnnnn, what a GIFT! To have that dream spoken over me, and my future. That I would be, that ENORMOUS with JOY!!!! And in taking it deeper and asking Him to show me the way to release it, I receive the blessing of speaking it over my life after releasing so much DESPAIR! 

What a gift! 

Friend, why do I share all this? Sharing so much transparency and being this authentic with you is not for me. I’ve already gone through it. Going through it was for me. But now sharing it, sharing this, is for YOU! And don’t get me wrong, it is NOT easy. But is it worth it? Yes. 10000% yes. Why? Because YOU are worth it! Because I care about YOUR freedom just as much as I do mine. 

Have you ever felt like your life has been STUCK?

Have you ever felt like there’s a WALL in front of you and you just can’t see past it? You have an enemy of your soul, and the battleground is YOUR mind. "What are YOU a prisoner of? You are a prisoner of your thoughts. As a man thinks so He will be!" - Carmen O'Quinn

If you’re ready to get to the OTHER side of that stuck friend, it’s time for a NEW experience. 

Why? "Because whatever it is that you believe about your life, is what your future will be!" - Carmen O'quinn

Man, I sure want my future to be full of ENORMOUS JOY!!! 

As we start to look at 2023, friend what life do YOU want?

As we roll into this next year I’m going to be working with just 4 people who are ready to dive THIS deep, they're ready to engage with their creator in ways they haven’t before, and they're ready to do the work to really identify who they ARE, really figure out what it is that they are designed to do, and then…to launch it to the world! Why? Because I know how hard it is to do alone. 

And the same shovel, the same golden shovel that was dropped into my hands I want to give to you! Why do I continue to go to these events? Why am sharing all that I share? Why am I passionate about connecting those who need help with those who have overcome?  Because I don’t just go for me and my own continued journey of healing. I go for YOU. 

If you’re ready for 2023 to look different, I want to partner with you to help you walk into it.

If this resonates with you click the button below!

And if you’re not ready yet friend, it’s ok. I’ll still be cheering you on. 

Go LIGHT up the world, with YOUR story! 

I believe in you! 

I biffed so hard just coming OUT of the water when I stopped tumbling feet over head, I had no idea if I was still connected to my board, if my hoo-ha was exposed to everyone as I re-gathered myself on the sand, of if anything was bleeding.

Then walking out, the first man I walked by in the crowds had a concerned look on his face… “Are you okay?”.

I had zero clue. Zero clue if I was exposed, if I was bleeding anywhere, or what the heck just happened.

But man had I wished I took more serious the words given to me by another surfer (a guide) out in the waves “Whatever you do, DON’T ride a wave into the beach”.

WHOOPS.

There’s so many things in life we MISS.

Like another anonymous friend on the trip, when she suddenly yelled out to me while in the airbnb “Jen!!! Come look at this!!”.

Insert my hesitation as she’s yelling while in the toilet.

I walk in and her face is flabbergasted. She’s in total shock as she’s pointing to her vape that had just dropped in the toilet.

Meanwhile not noticing AT ALL, that her underwear was still at her knees.

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What if there’s something MORE we should be seeing. Something MORE that’s right there in front of us?

What do I mean?

Well, with that first story biffing at pipline what I didn’t tell you is that day I had been out in the waves and an older gentleman had come up right beside me in the waves. Between waves we chatted, and as a wave would come he seemed more concerned with ME catching one, than him. He’d give instructions between each, subtle tweaks I could make, even helped lift my board in the back at times to catch it, cheering me on with each one. He’d catch one then paddle right back to me and we continued like this for what felt like several hours. He was so patient, kind, and humble. He was in his 70’s and such a gentle soul.

Parting in the water as dusk set in, we shook hands and I paddled to shore. I didn’t learn till after I hit the sand (horrifically) and rejoined my friends that this man had entered the water earlier and b-lined it over to ME! My friends shared that it was such a bizarre sight because He seemed to see me and then knew he wanted to come to ME!

Wow, I thought. Why was I so special?

Later as we were packing the Jeep, suddenly a car was behind ours…my new friend! The man who had b-lined it for me in the waves. We all then stood in a circle continuing to chat with this sweet man and then found out He was none other than Jock Sutherland…the infamous surfer well known in the 70’s! Inside my jaw dropped.

THIS was who I had just spent the afternoon with in the waves??? And who was guiding and teaching ME? This was who had b-lined it for ME?

Unreal. And what a gift. What blew me away the most was how kind, and how patient this older man had been all day!

And then it hit me…that’s how HE (God) is. He sees us and b-lines it to us and like a good Father wants to give instruction, guide us, and even give us a lift to get going and ride that next wave in life. Whispering words of belief into our souls that we CAN do it! That we ARE designed for this. Never rushing us, or even asking to be beside us but patiently waiting for us to soak in his companionship in that very moment amidst our day.

That we ARE that special to Him. That’s how PATIENT He is.

---

The PATIENCE of a Father.

There’s where the story gets crazier.

I should have guessed this was going to be such a powerful trip spiritually.

Especially when the one who exclaimed “Jen, come look a this!” while on the toilet arrived (lol). Why do I say that? Because of how much our stories, and what we had overcame, related to one another.

Day 1 she arrived she was weeping as I shared the updates to my own journey and the forgiveness I had found. Words she too needed to hear.

But what I didn’t expect is my own freedom that would also yet come.

Late one night this friend was sharing about a healing event in her own journey. Where her own father was sitting next to her and how powerful that was. Prior to that, she had asked him one night ‘what do you really want to do?”, “what’s on your heart and mind?”. As he shared his dreams and visions she saw him cry.

She had given him space in a moment where it might of been life and death for him with the weight of the dreams he had been carrying and the loss of his brother who had hung himself that he carried.

Tears started welling in my eyes. As I thought of how MAD I had been over the last 5 years, that I couldn’t give THIS (this same healing conference where I had found freedom - just like her dad had now too) to MY dad.

I couldn’t go back and put this into his hands.

That night as the tears fell, this friend saw the tears coming out as she shared about her own father and encouraged me to LET THEM OUT. The floodgates opened as I shared deep frustrations and also how beautiful it was that her dad had hugged her when she had found healing at these events, because he was sitting next to her. That’s what my dad would do anytime I cried tears like this…he’d just walk up to me, say nothing and hug me so tight until the tears stopped.

This friend then said “I’ll hug you”.

As she was hugging me she said;

“Jen, have you ever forgiven YOURSELF for not getting to help him?”.

I cried so hard I couldn’t see.

She kept repeating the words that I needed to forgive myself, I was crying some of the deepest tears I’ve ever cried. I was crying so hard I couldn’t speak. Which was crazy to me, because I KNEW how to walk through the steps of forgiveness, I knew what I needed to say right then. But I was crying such deep tears…I literally couldn’t speak.

This friend picked up on that and softly said “Repeat after me”.

One word at a time it came out. A root so deep I couldn’t’ even say the sentence without help one word, at a time.

“I. Forgive. You. Jen. For. Not. Being. Able. To. HELP. Your. Dad. In. That. Moment.”

---

Processing that moment of healing the next day, I was overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed by the image of HIM - a Father (God) who is so PATIENT, He’s right beside us and wants to guide us to freedom.

Like a patient Father she had waited with each word until I could say it. And a giant tree, a giant root inside me finally released.

I then shared how just about a month prior some anonymous friends had gifted 7 tickets to these events we both had been to that brought healing. 7 tickets to veterans to go to “First Steps To Success”, on my birthday, in memory of my dad.

I couldn’t help my dad, but these 7 veterans were going to get this put into THEIR hands.

This moment, this root being released, put words to the feeling I hadn’t yet known how to express. A gift that hit so deep that it was beyond the ability for words to even come out.

A gift that was also part of the unraveling of a major root just a few weeks later. That it might not have been able to dig to without this trip to Hawaii, without the connection and space with THESE friends whose story so closely related to my own, without them sharing stories of THEIR dad, or without the incredible gift just weeks before by 2 anonymous friends.

---

And that’s exactly what this last month in Oahu was. The beauty of a patient GUIDE, and a complete engulfing of HIS presence.

I felt it the first day this particular friend arrived, as she brought His presence to a level that had me on the verge of weeping just while riding down the road in our open air jeep blasting worship music and singing as loud as she could as we went (not realizing she had never done that before until this moment later).

I felt it the night this friend and I sat down to watch “The Shack”. A movie I had blocked in my brain and not wanted to watch these last 18 years since loosing my dad. But I didn’t remember that I had even blocked it until we started watching it.

Suddenly remembering all the comments about this film, and the friend who had told me to watch it 18 years ago.

What if I was SUPPOSE to watch it with this friend - now? It felt appointed.

Why? This friend related to the 2nd half of my story - the one in my book.

Eerily enough, the night before the two of us had noticed we both had been burned from the sun. But just on our hands, our faces, and our feet. Then remembering the story of Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego who had been in the FIRE but didn’t die because of the presence of the Father.

Interestingly, we had both been burned by the sun and decided to stay up watching this film because of it.

So there I was sitting watching this movie FINALLY, while sitting next to someone who could relate to the second half of my journey. The second half that had I watched this movie 18 years ago wouldn’t’ have happened yet. The second half of my journey, that until THIS trip, I didn’t realize had ANY connection to the first half.

He was showing me His presence in the WHOLE journey. And His presence amidst the flames.

---

But it goes so much further than that. This guide had done that all week through so many other things we watched and talked through, like the documentary “the Heart of man”.

As a person in the film shared their story something NEW about my dad’s story hit me, and broke me.

That being when you’re so broken you’re at that place of thinking about ending it all. The LIES are what’s hitting your identity. It’s not Him. It's not His voice of who you are!

Hearing that shattered the belief I had that my dad’s identity was rock solid. Don't hear me wrong, there is no doubt in my mind that he loved the Father with everything that He had. More than most people I even know. But what it was showing me was something specific. It showed me that he needed HELP with his IDENTITY, in that moment.

It then hitting me how the TWO HALVES of my story are tied. So intricately.

The story of tragic loss and suicide - and the story of struggles with identity.

And until this moment I had thought they were unrelated. One being one I couldn’t control, and just happened.

And the other being one I struggled with shame and regret in, because I had chosen it.

It then hitting me that they ARE related, and powerfully. That I’m called to help people with their identity because I know the identity struggle and have overcame but until this moment I had ZERO idea that this struggle related to and tied to the struggle of loosing my dad and that day for him until now.

Now I knew HOW and WHY the two are working together and the vital-ness of the message. Because those who struggle with identity are struggling with suicidal thoughts. Talk about redemption. Redemption of the second half of my story that there's so much regret in! Only HE could do that! Only HE could weave like that!

He (Yahaveh - God) had waited until He could speak into BOTH halves of my journey before I watched "The Shack", and that’s how I knew it was also TIME. Time to accept watching it, and why it was appointed with this friend, that night.

Two friends who had been burned. Two friends who had been IN THE FIRE but not died. Because of Him!

---

The night we watched it, I had set my alarm for 1am saying that I could start it but needed to go to bed at 1 so that I could get up to work in the am. The alarm went off and this friend asked me what I thought so far. I was blank for a minute and then said one word “overwhelmed”. And the tears started. And then they poured out of me as I bent over.

Why? Because something was hitting me so hard it felt like it FELL over top of me from all sides. Completely engulfing me like a curtain all around me. And I knew exactly what it was. Because I knew that feeling. It was HIS PRESENCE.

As I sat there physically feeling his presence completely engulfing me I cried harder at the beauty of it.

“Yes, Jen…and it’s been my presence that Has healed you these last 18 years”.

I cried harder. This friend continuing to tell me to let it out.

After I regathered myself, this friend then says “Jen, are you really going to say no (to finishing the movie right now) to the God who has physically engulfed you right now because you think you need to be diligent?? He knows your diligent!!”. She was right. We stayed up and finished the film.

So many more moments of healing happened. So many profound messages of what happens to our grief when we cry. The LIFE birthed inside us. How He uses that soil to redeem. We become the garden of His presence giving life to others and it goes with us WHEREVER we go!

I didn’t need to go to Hawaii to feel more of Him…I was taking Him with me, that garden with me, everywhere.

John 1:14 describes how “The word became flesh and made His dwelling among us”. The word dwelling actually being the word for tent or tabernacle.

That’s what it felt like when His presence engulfed me, like I was inside a sacred space.

Thank goodness this friend had challenged me that night to EMBRACE Him and not go to bed, but instead became lost in His embrace.

---

He speaks to us in so many ways. In sacred spaces. In still spaces.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that early on this trip I awoke from a bizarre dream.

A dream where EVERYTHING was on fire. We were all driving down the road in Oahu in the jeep and looked out the window and saw flames engulfing everything.

This friend asking me the next morning “How did it make you feel?”. I answered, “I was in awe!!”.

We then remembered that the Holy Spirit is described as falling like a fire. And that fire is meant for cleansing.

Pretty crazy for a vision given early on for what the following month would become. A month where we were running to Him, He was making Himself known, and falling like FIRE.

Fire that cleansed. Fire that engulfed. Fire that set ablaze a trail for freedom, and a passion for others that could engulf the world in awe. And surely had us.

What a PATIENT, faithful, good, and all encompassing FIRE He is.

A FIRE that wants to show us experiences with Him that leave us saying “WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?” like the day I biffed on the beach.

A FIRE that wants to engulf us so greatly that it takes days, if not weeks, if not years to process through the beauty of what He's showing us, doing, and freeing us from!

A FIRE that values and loves us so much He desperately wants to b-line it just for US?

A FIRE whose eyes are on YOU?

Because He values you that greatly!

WAIT. WHAAAAT?!?! Crazy right?

Even saying that last sentence, tears are about to BURST all over again.

But to tell you what happened I have to back up. And I actually have to tell you some things that until this last weekend I was still not ready to tell.

But with what happened at this last conference, how could I not??

Let me explain;

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First, I have to back up to what happened over a year ago.

A professional counselor (and total stranger at the time) pulled my book off a shelf and started reading it - CRAZY!!

Who would’ve thought that, in the following weeks he’d then be emailing me every day as he worked his way through it over the following weeks because he was so blown away by it.

…or that months later in first meeting face to face he’d walk into my life, as another “dad”.

…or that now over a year later, after then rooming with his wife at a conference later that fall, all that it would lead me to.

An incredible friend, who’s been a listening ear who’s seen me cry the deepest of tears, held space in the battles in my own spirit for even more authenticity as I worked through my CRAP…and has spoken so much life to continue the fight.

Including once again at this last conferencee in pensacola, and the week after spent processing (and celebrating their own family joys) with their family in PA.

What was I processing?

Two major moments of healing.

One that requires vulnerability that’s quite a leap. And to be able to leap I needed a “safe” space to get there. This counselor’s wife did that effortlessly as we walked the beach in Jersey Shore. Not planned - except by the Almighty.

---

The first moment of healing came as we were working through wounds at the conference, and they instructed that if you’ve been hurt by a woman to stand. Then another woman came and stood in front of those standing, and stood in proxy for the one who hurt them. They asked for forgiveness on behalf of that person.

Quoting one of the trainers - “It’s about making YOU right for what THEY did wrong”.

I stood. Like a MAGNET another mentor flew right in front of me. Another mentor, and woman who in the 5 years prior since attending events had intimately known my journey.

How did she know? Because she too had been a “safe” space.

She had been the very first person who I opened up to back in year 1, way before I even came close to being ready to write my book revealing it ALL. Back in those first years, I had been going through so much intense, messy, and painful healing that after EVERY event I was emailing in to the company thanking them sharing with them what my God had done because of their efforts.

She had watched it all. I knew she had prayed through it all. And she loved and accepted me as she then continued to watch me painfully walk it all.

As she then stood in front of me at this last event for this exercise she says “It was like MAGNET, Yahaveh drew me right to you!”. And she then asked for forgiveness on behalf of any woman who had “abused me, touched me, and taken advantage of my heart that had opened up to them”. She saw right through me, everything I needed to hear. As she spoke I saw the faces who I knew might never voice it. I sobbed, as my friend locked me dead in the eyes, and I was set free.

Just a WEEK ago, I had not been ready to yet share any part of THIS story.

---

Here’s where the story gets crazier.

I would’ve never even got HERE, had I not gone to Isreal in 2019 with my mentor and met another woman - our now CEO’s wife.

Who would’ve thought that, in the following months SHE would become not only one of the pre-readers of my book that I then wrote over that next year but that a friendship so set apart would start in none other than the holy land.

A friend who back when I wrote my book, then launched my movement, and started diving into the Hebrew calendar in the years after not only continued to cheer me on but passionately became one of my biggest cheerleaders!

She completely saw me. Loved me, accepted me in every moment where I was at, and has believed in me ever since.

We too have cried the deepest tears together. I’ve been behind the scenes with this family and have seen how incredible and authentic THEIR hearts are too.

And as the company where my own life changed - changed…I knew it was safe and in amazing hands because I KNEW these hearts.

I couldn’t have been more PROUD of all that they too had battled through and been victorious in these last few years. And that same feeling overwhelmed my spirit this entire last event watching them empower from now, the stage!

That Sunday, the very last day of the conference something huge happened. That leads me into the hardest part of the story - my story - to now tell.

On Sunday our CEO delivered a message that I’ll never forget.

Why?

Because of his raw authenticity.

He vulnerably shared how he had felt like a hypocrite and why. He then shared about his health and weight battles with food.

As he shared, I wanted to weep. Because I saw the LEADER in him I knew that was there. The one who cares so much about people, that they’re willing to ‘go there’. To go to the deep places where the real life lessons and moments of true growth are found.

He doesn’t even know this yet, but watching him that day, so courageously share his journey as vulnerably as he did became what has now led me to my own next breakthrough.

---

Leaping into the unknown can be terrifying. Some battles require so much sacrifice. So much sacrifice of self.

But man it sure feels like the more I continue to let go of “me”, the more HE puts into my path even more than my heart could have imagined.

What do I mean? Well here’s where I get REALLY authentic with you.

After I released my book in 2020, I went through a season where I felt like an absolute hypocrite too.

Why? Because I “fell into” (chose) exactly the thing I shared in it that I was struggling with.

But then coming out of that season since, and surrendering it all, was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

Why did I surrender it?

Because of all the things He had been showing me as I simultaneously had been studying the Hebrew calendar.

What can happen when you simply give Him the opportunity and space to show you MORE.

Not out of judgement, not out of condemnation. But simply out of the love of a Father who just wants more than anything to simply take a walk with you. Lead you by the hand not going any faster than you’re able to.

---

I wrestled so deeply with the guilt and the shame for the choices I made in that season right after my book released.

The feelings completely overwhelmed me, as I expressed through sobs that “I had disappointed the one I love more than anything in this life - Him!!”

But that same one whom I thought I had disappointed so deeply, answered back through a friends dream who had no idea I was even struggling to the depths that I was; she shared that in her dream she saw me and my future hubby walking on the sand and one word was written in the sand

…”FORGIVEN”.

I wept that day. I wept as I felt His love wash over me. He knew what I needed to hear and in one word delivered the message through someone else that day. Someone else who didn't even know I was struggling.

Sometimes the one who’s the hardest to forgive is ourself. We beat ourselves up day after day, and here the one who literally created us isn’t doing that…he’s whispering through the voice of another the voice of freedom!! The voice of freedom from it all.

Maybe you too, need to hear that you’re FORGIVEN.

Maybe you too need to hear that when you do take the leap to be authentic with your creator and authentic with yourself…that it’s worth letting go of it all.

---

What happens when you let go of it all? Well you’ve already read about several people HE has brought along the path so poetically timed as I continued to surrender MORE these last 5 years…the CEO’s wife in Isreal, the mentor from the company the first few years that read all my emails as I healed, the professional counselor who took my book off a shelf, and his wife that I then roomed with, and our now CEO.

But if all those gifts don’t prove it to you, let me tell you this last most recent one. The one you’ve been waiting for since my opening line.

The one, about my dad.

Well, at this last event once again we were challenged with “who do we need to forgive”.

And for me, more came out about my dad and him not being here.

I then journaled “I need to forgive you Dad for not being here. Not being here now to tell me how proud of me you are. To hug me and just hold me for a second. I chose to feel like there was always something missing, that I was waiting for a voice that I’d never hear. I chose to feel like I wasn’t worth staying for to be able to tell that to. When I’ve had a Father ever since who’s taken my hand in every moment and told me not only how much He loved me but showed me that I was on the right track that He WAS with me and He was enamored with me. I release you dad, for not being here to tell me that too.”

What happened next completely flabbergasted me. I wrote all that in PRIVATE, in silence - in my journal.

NO ONE had known what I wrote down just moments before.

Next, they instructed that if you’ve been hurt by now a man to stand. A male then came and stood in front of those standing, and stood in proxy for the one who hurt them. They asked for forgiveness on behalf of that person.

The man who came and stood in front of me…was the CEO, the husband of the friend I had made back in Isreal. Another man whom him and his wife had just like the professional counselor and his wife been weaved so beautifully into my own.

After going through the exercise, a few tears fell as he spoke but then as he hugged me for a second he then softly said in my ear…

“I’LL SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE Jen!”

…and the floodgates opened. I completely lost it.

That voice, wasn’t my friend the CEO…that was my dad.

---

What a gift. A voice from the other side.

A moment I’ll never forget. So many moments I’ll never forget.

And so much healing. Is it hard - YES. Is it messy - Oh my gosh yes. Is it painful - unbelievably so!!

But is it worth it? I would do it all again in a heartbeat knowing what then came on the other side of embracing and leaning into it all.

YOU are worth it friend.

Surrender it all, and watch your life be SURROUNDED with those who will champion for your success.

Let Him ENVELOPE you with so much more, as you continue to walk towards your own freedom.

What if it IS so much better than you think it is?

There are some victories that make me more emotional than others.

And getting THIS photo (the one on the left - zoomed in photo to read the note sitting on top of her luggage on the right) from my mom the day she was leaving Michigan to come spend a week with me here in Texas recently, is one.

Why?

Well for anyone who knows our story and/or my mom, VICTORIES like this make me weep. When you’ve been through horrific tragedy, especially those kinds that can take DECADES if not more to heal, it can be so easy to LOOK BACKWARDS and stay in fear, at times not even realizing that you are.

Those feelings are so real. The fears, the loss, you’ve already fought through SO MUCH.

But this day, my incredible mom CHOSE to walk forward.

And not just walk forward but take authority over her own spirit and speak PEACE to her mind as she prepared to travel…something she use to hate to do. Something that previously had always filled her with so much fear.

Why does she do it now? Because she knows, that what’s on the other side of that decision is something she REALLY wants…to be with me!

I’m just so freaking proud of her!! Knowing the journey we have had. And all that SHE has had to overcome to get here.

And by "here" I mean, mastering her mindset and taking authority over it!

---

Have you ever found yourself noticing themes or patterns in your days or weeks? Well maybe, just maybe there’s a reason for it.

That was definitely the case once again for me these last few weeks. And that pattern was about walking FORWARD.

And it didn’t stop with the powerful victory shown through my mom’s visit.

While on a call with another friend, as we were diving in exploring the vision for her brand and what she wants to do suddenly the story of Lot in the Bible hit both of us.

And how Lot’s wife literally looked BACKWARDS (she looked backwards to see the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah as she and her family were fleeing when they were told NOT to, not to look back at the DEATH!) and she turned into a pillar of salt!

We’re meant to walk FORWARDS!!! Not look backwards.

When we LOOK backwards it doesn’t bring life.

LOOKING backwards at what you see, brings death.

But WALKING forwards in what you can’t yet see, takes faith, but brings LIFE!

Forwards is life and backwards is death!

What happens when you look back at things that happened to you that hurt you?

What happens when you look back at things that you wrestle or struggle with?

What happens when you remember how you felt, alone, heart-broken, abused, taken advantage of, abandoned…the list goes on!

That list when we go there…keeps us STUCK!

Where is your mind?

Where are your thoughts?

Where are your words?

---

Walking forward takes action. And what can happen when we walk forward is where this last story shows.

Is walking forward really worth it?

Well let me tell you this next story.

An incredible friend messaged me just this morning randomly saying “He is not letting you stay in the old Jen…He has so much more in store for Jen 2.0!!”

I then told my friend, “It’s funny that you say that, cuz I can just feel it. I can feel that I’m entering into an entirely new season and I can tell that my new season is so done with the old and the old me. There’s no part of me left that has any desire to go back to the previous seasons. Which is a huge thing to be able to say. Because in any season prior I still had that desire. So it’s cool to be at a place where you know all you want is what the next season holds. You don’t want what use to be things that were a desire before. It’s cool to feel it and be so ready for it, but for someone else to see it and say it, it’s an extra dose of confidence that’s where we’re headed.”

And talk about an extra dose of confidence. When HIS voice hits you. It’s a done deal.

Recently I asked my God "how do I really know which voice is you"…and He answered, “If you’re ever confused if it IS me…then it’s not me. I am not the author of confusion. You will know when it is me. As you always have”.

In that moment, I KNEW it was Him. He was confirming a passage I had read months before which had been pivotal to my confidence in where i'm at now. In what I'm CHOOSING now to walk forward in, and it was found in 1 Corinthians 14:33.

Not only had I been hearing it, did I feel it, but I was seeing it too. What do I mean?

---

Just the other day I was browsing instagram and I happened to see something. Something that caught my eye. It was a new account set up by a woman I had just recently met. Someone who had been impacted by my book and everything that The Overcomers messaging is all about - finding the gold within us, and how HE (the Father) not only heals the brokenness in our lives but that He fills it with GOLD!

This new friend, was courageously posting a picture of herself everyday letting God tell her how beautiful she is. Something she NEVER does - post pictures of herself. As I scrolled through the photos she had been posting daily, and read the posts I saw it…she was letting HIM heal what she feels on the inside and letting Him tell her what He SEES on her and who she is. That she’s absolutely beautiful.

I was so moved. There are no adequate words when you get to see that the Father is helping a new friend HEAL, after being inspired by the movement you’re putting forth into the world.

That’s what’s there when you walk FORWARD friend.

Stories from those who cross your path, that go behind the scenes and reveal what He is doing, to impact, and to heal more than just you (or me).

Those are the stories, and why I keep choosing to walk FORWARD.

---

Where do YOU want to go?

WALK FORWARD. And take authority over your own mind for where it’s going to look and walk.

Something my mom now also does every morning - she is CHOOSING what she’s going to believe no matter what thoughts might try to win over.

And now she tells me, “Jen - I learned this from you!”

Never doubt the IMPACT you are making by choosing to walk forward friend…you never know when or how it might be helping even those you care for most!

He has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind! (2 Timothy 1:7)

He has SO MUCH more in store for you too friend!

First mistake - I should not be identifying sea creatures.

Isn’t it magical?! It just seemed to draw me in. I couldn’t stop looking at it. Taking all kinds of pics noticing how the light caught it at different angles. Completely oblivious to all it was actually designed for.

It was a “man of war”. First time seeing one.

A few hours later, I think that was the same reaction a young mom had to me - when she saw me sitting in the shallows in my bright neon coral wetsuit. “I love your wetsuit!!” she said.

After surfing on the beach I had felt the nudge to just plop down in the shallows and take in the ocean waves and the scenery.

This young mom had been combing the sand nearby, looking for seashells for her boys.

After a brief chat in the shallow waves, she says “okay, I don’t want to bother you, I’m gonna keep looking for shells!”.

I suddenly remember - the “jellyfish” and yell back at her “Hey! There’s a cool looking jellyfish back there your kids might like!” as I point (thank you God this wasn’t mistake #2 and for protecting those little hearts from a man of war lol)!!

She goes to check it out and then runs to grab her family. They all stare at it with the same awestruck eyes.

____________________________________________

As I’m now back sitting in the shallows out of the corner of my eye I see this mom and one of her young boys coming back towards me, and she says “Is it okay if we keep talking to you?”

I beam - “absolutely!!!”

We chat for a good while as the waves crash over us all. And after a while later she then says “What are you doing tonight? Want to go out with my husband and I?!”. ….I chuckle and say “actually, I’m here with my roommate but I bet we’d love to!!”.

We exchange numbers and before parting she says “I don’t normally do this btw. I never go out with strangers. And definitely not ones I just met on the beach that very day lol. But I don’t know how to explain it, I just feel drawn to you.”

We meet up later that night for dinner - all 4 of us. Me, my new mom friend, her Japanese hubby, and my roomie.

And we close the place down. We couldn’t stop chatting. It was kismet.

One week later, this young mom texts me “Jen - I’m almost done with your book! I just read 8 hours straight!”. Not only had she ordered my book, but had finished it and was already following me on Youtube. And encouraging me every time she communicated.

One week earlier we met on the beach because I was sitting in the sand, in my wetsuit.

If that’s not crazy enough, the Hebrew month we were in was something called IYYAR. Well would you believe that part of the meaning of that month is linked with light, and there’s also way more to that but in summary it’s the month to light up with His glory and it talks about how it can be SEEN on you.

That’s just the 1st part of this story;

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Here’s where I get really vulnerable with you.

I don’t know what you believe about what you see on social media or anywhere else for that matter.

But, maybe like me, you can relate to how easy it can be to feel discouraged.

Friend, I don’t know what your passion is, but this is for those who are working SO hard on that one thing you believe in more than anything else. I see you.

I know how it can at times feel like you’re in the baby stage of growing it, feeling so much passion, and it’s barely moving forward.

I can get discouraged so easily when I see just 200 subscribers on YouTube, and that may sound silly to you.

But when it’s the one thing you are working so hard on because you just want to help people, and get them connected to people that can help them the thoughts enter your head…

“Uhhhhh, what is it going to take to get this thing to really move?!?! So that awesome interviews and awesome stories of what God can do and is doing get into the hands of the hearts that are desperate to hear them?”

I know what it feels like to be in that place of putting everything you have into something you believe in.

Your God sees you friend. And in fact He sees you so much, I think this next part is for you just as much as it was for me this last Friday;

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This last Friday, there I was spending my Friday night editing another interview. An incredible one. Tears were filling my eyes listening to my friends story and what God had done and her heart to see others be set free of the same thing she was sharing about.

And it suddenly hit me that it doesn’t matter if it (the movement) goes big.

What matters is the ONE.

The one person who feels stuck in silence, who feels so alone, needs to feel seen and heard in a safe space and is desperate to be set free because she’s carrying so much.

I was gripped, watching my own interview with her.

Talking later that night with this friend I had interviewed, she reminds me of how Jesus left the 99 to claim the 1.

If you don’t know the story, look up “the parable of the sheep”.

It’s about a shepherd who leaves his flock of sheep to go after the one who had wandered off and was probably feeling super lonely, afraid, and even hurting.

Like my incredible friend - Jacqueline Goodman-Yaich - then said to me next, I say to you now:

“You are making an impact. Only “1” person can start a revolution!”

“The enemy wants you to feel insignificant. He’s a freaking liar!!! Don’t let him take one more moment of your brain space”.

Would you leave the CROWDS, to go after the one? I would.

It’s that hurting heart in the corner of the room that I can SEE, and that image grips me.

It’s why I do every single thing that we’re doing at The Overcomers. To go after that ONE.

That’s his heart!!!

Friend, don’t let anyone else’s success make you feel insignificant!! If you are helping just ONE you have the heart of the Father!!!

You know deep inside what you were designed to do, and why.

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Friend, if you are being COURAGEOUS with what you believe in, do it for the ONE.

In time it will be connected to the exact people who need your message.

Be real. There’s no way they won’t find you. It just might not be in the way you’re expecting.

It could be a woman walking down the beach when you’re in a bright neon coral wetsuit, staring into the waves.

Be open to how and when HE chooses to show HIS light through you.

The right ones, WILL be drawn to you.

The ones who DO need your light.

Do it for the ONE.

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Do you know the ONE you are doing it for?

A few weeks back in my hometown while out to dinner with a friend, she mentioned the verse John 15:13 "No greater love than this, that one should lay down his life for his friends.”

Then saying, “we often tend to think that verse is about someone actually dying. But what if it’s more about someone laying down what others think of them? Like their actual reputation? Laying down what everyone in their lives even strangers might think of them. For the sole purpose of helping other people. That’s what YOU do, by being so vulnerable, by sharing all the stuff that’s been so hard to share…you really love people.”

As tears hit my eyes that verse hit me in a whole new light.

As we then rolled into Memorial Day, remembering so many who GAVE their actual lives I shared that passage on the day.

But there was so much more behind it. This conversation was behind it.

So many families LOST their spouses, lost their fathers, their mothers, their sons and daughters.

And it hit me ever more deeper, what a DISSERVICE it would be to those who did give their life…if we were stayed stuck in fear afraid to give up something (like what someone else might think of us) that could help our fellow man yet that still leaves us with our very life in TACT!?

Our veterans and our military are willing to give their lives for us, for our country, for our freedom…but what about you and me?

What are WE willing to give to our neighbor, to a stranger?

I think we’re far more capable of so much more than what we’ve settled for.

YOU have overcome so much in your journey, we all have!

What if it’s in those places of vulnerability in sharing the REAL stories of what we’ve been through and how we got through it, that could actually help our fellow man, where they need it most?

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A few weeks ago, I also went to Pensacola Florida with the other friend in this pic and the craziest part of the reason why we went is that we actually didn’t know the full reason WHY we were going lol!!!

Both of us had just been studying the Hebrew calendar and felt like HE (God) was telling us to go - early - before an event later this summer. (if you want to hear THAT story, message me)

But that's crazy, right lol??

We had no idea what we’d be doing we just went!

Wait, what?!?! Lololol.

What makes it even crazier is that the Hebrew month we were in was something called IYYAR. Nissan (the month before) was when the Isrealites were leaving Egypt, after being in captivity. The following month was when they arrived at Sinai after being in the wilderness. So IYYAR was the transition of the journey. The Isrealites were transitioning to a new place in their relationship with the Father because they didn’t know much about God other than the stories passed down from generations. They had lived as slaves in Egypt and knew about the Egyptian gods but they didn’t know much about the one who had rescued them from captivity. In the wilderness, in transition, they learned his nature through the life and death realities of the wilderness.

What did they learn? That He is our healer, our provider and our banner of victory!

In pensacola, I remember saying to my friend one night amidst conversation; “I wish I had training in how to do more spiritual things”…and then it hit me “maybe this is exactly why I hadn’t. Because it’s something you have to experience with HIM! He wants that relationship and more specifically that journey with us! He doesn’t want someone else taking you on that journey. HE wants to do it and lead you in it!!”.

And that’s exactly what He did, step by step the entire time in pensacola. Even though I had NEVER done any of the things we ended up doing before lol. HE literally showed us step by step, what to do. And we did it!

Had I ever anointed anything while praying over it before? - no

Had I ever circled a building 7 times before while praying over it? - no

Had I ever anointed four corners of a church before? - no

Had I ever put my hand on someone’s forehead as people were praying over them? - no (<- insert Jen’s head dialog of "whoah!! What am I doing?! Lol Idk but He distinctly told me to do it lol. Omg, my hand is on his head!! Lol”)

And the best part? We got to do that alongside the pastor, and our friends who are members of that very church. We all did it together!

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You don’t have to have any of it figured out, He’s just asking you to trust Him, to ASK Him to show you! That’s the beauty of it all.

Why? Because you’re better together. You and Him! That’s where it all starts.

What if THAT is how we even get there! What do I mean? I mean how we get to those places of being able to be vulnerable and share the things that are so hard to share. What if, He, is wanting to lead us, simply ask Him, so He can show us how!

Connection comes through true authenticity. Brave authenticity. Brave authenticity with the Father first!

Friend, at the start of our trip to Pensacola I told him “We’re here because you showed us to come….what do you want us to see? Show us what you want us to see and tell us what you want us to do!”.

And look what happened!! And that's not even everything...

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There’s no doubt in my mind that I would NOT be being as vulnerable and authentic as I have been these last 5 years, and will continue to be had it not been for finding Destiny Global. Why? Because every single event, I find that much more healing, that much more breakthrough that continues to accelerate all things I know I was put on this earth to do, I was designed to do.

And I’m so excited to be heading to Pensacola Florida at the end of July, continuing to partner with Destiny Global, as we partner with a local church, and we partner with you…to be more authentic with the world.

Why? Because that's how we help eachother. We’re better TOGETHER.

Our heroes knew that. They gave their lives so that we could be.

Let’s go change the world! Let’s honor our heroes, and fight for freedom! Freedom from it all! Freedom for me, and freedom, for you!

It’s time to HONOR those who died, by HONOR-ing our neighbor with the very thing the Father has equipped YOU with!

I believe in you!

But the worst part, when the host almost didn’t let me in and asked my then college best friend “wait, how old is she…she looks 13?!” as we walked in. Ughhhh. I NEVER LOOKED MY AGE!!!

Until 2 weekends ago, while attending yet another conference with Destiny Global, LLC with my mentors, I hadn’t realized how much another belief my whole life, had shaped me.

Being now in my 5th year of hitting every single event, you’d think the growth, learning, or breakthroughs would stop…but they don’t.

At this event, we got the added BONUS of getting to do a service day with King's Ransom Foundation at the start and while sitting with two friends afterward it hit me WHY I have always struggled with the word “pretty”, or “cute”.

I shared how my whole life I felt like I didn’t have a voice.

Not just because I was SO deathly shy (I seriously remember people saying “does she even talk?”), but because I also had been viewed as this tiny little girl for so long.

I was always looked at as younger than I actually was. People always guessed my age and were off sometimes by decades. Sure it was great when you’re at a theme park and you can win a prize when they're wrong, but not when you want to be taken seriously or even be seen as someone worth listening to.

Add on being someone who was slow to speak if she did…I felt invisible.

Who would even want to WAIT that long for someone so slow to speak to finally build up the courage? Stuck in that place, it turned into NO VOICE for so long. It wasn’t until after my early career years that I even started to find it.

Those words, “pretty” and “cute” were the words from my little days. The little girl - who felt invisible.

Tragedy hit…and the rest is history. Leading to today, and who you now know.

But wait Jen, what was the breakthrough? I’m getting there…

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A couple months ago, another incredible human, Diane Dornberger messaged me out of the blue saying “Jen!!! Have you ever had anyone tell you to look up your actual birthday in the Hebrew calendar?” I responded no, and that I hadn’t even thought of that, even through I had been leading a group of people through studying the Hebrew calendar (we operate in a Greek one today). She then shared that she didn’t say this to everyone, but felt like Yahaveh (God) was telling her to tell me to look at it. I looked it up and read all the passages that were tied to that day in Biblical history. And what were so many of the verses about?!?!?!

HIS VOICE!!!!!

Chills filled my whole body, as it me next, He had marked from birth my IDENTITY on the very day I was born with “HIS VOICE”!!!!!

And He made sure it was used in the title of the book of the one who for so long felt like she had none. I didn’t know this tie to the date of my actual birth, BEFORE I wrote my book called “Finding His Voice”!!!!!

TEARS!!!!!!!!!!

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It then hit me. No wonder He just brought those memories back to mind while sitting and chatting with these 2 friends right before this next conference started?!?! He wanted me to break through that belief next. He wanted me to break through feeling like and believing that lie, that I was just a “little girl” my whole life!!

What I had believed was my CHAIN.

Like a full grown circus elephant that has ALL it needs to break free from the peg and chain that is holding it back, but as a baby was tied to it and couldn’t budge, so it learned to STAY STUCK even though it can do so much more!!!

We then went through an exercise and I asked myself next, “what needs to change in me”?

The answer that hit my spirit; "I need to step out in faith in something someone told me to do several months ago, and STOP believing that I’m just that “little girl” who doesn’t have a voice anymore!! That HIS Voice is inside of me. And He wants to GO!!"

I then walked myself through forgivnessness. Forgiveness of anyone who had been in those moments where I chose to feel like I didn’t have a voice. But who did I mostly need to forgive? ….ME. Because I had chosen to believe how I felt.

My next words; “I forgive you Jen for believing you didn’t have a voice. I chose to feel invisible, not seen, and that I was just a little girl. I chose to believe it. I release you Jen, you owe yourself nothing and I bless you with a VOICE. His voice that will reverberate through you to those who too feel like they don’t have one!!”

In that moment, I felt RELEASED to go into a brand new future!

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What future is that? Well I can tell you one thing that already birthed on the other side of that moment of breakthrough!!!!

I realized EXACTLY what I do as a coach.

I help people identify why THEY are stuck, break free, figure out what they really want to do, and package what it looks like!

And the truth is, my life now shocks me, I shouldn’t be living the life I’m already living today.

…I shouldn’t have escaped confusion.

…I shouldn’t have escaped feeling like I don’t have a dad.

…I shouldn’t have escaped a mediocre life.

…I shouldn’t have escaped being that little girl that didn’t have a voice.

But guess what my friend, YOUR past…does not dictate your FUTURE!!

Just like mine didn’t.

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Quoting one of my mentors Carmen O'Quinn;

“Yahaveh (God) has designed you with ALL you need, to do whatever your DESIRE is.

Ever felt like you lack something? Friend, you were designed with EVERYTHING you need to succeed. It starts with you believing it! Even if you are the underdog. How dare you doubt it! The desire was put in you for such a time as THIS!!! …your destiny is to SUCCEED!

Your desire reveals your DESTINY!!

if you’re not doing something you’re afraid of, you haven’t stepped out in faith in a little while! What have you traded it for? It’s still in there!!”

Are you ready to BREAK FREE?

Growing up in the church I heard verses sometimes over and over and over again. But sometimes, when I EXPERIENCED a passage, my understanding has gone to a whole other level.

Like when I went to Israel. So many things, just made so much more sense to me!

What if it was all meant to be that easy? What if, we’ve been invited IN to an experience with the Father where He shows us exactly what He wants us to see?

What would happen if we asked not "how does this verse that I’m reading apply to life today?" ...But rather, "What did He want to show us about this verse…back THEN?!”

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What do I mean?

Well, let me share a quick story, of a very moment like that a few weeks back. A friend texted a photo in relation to a passage I have heard over and over again my whole life, and suddenly it HIT me so differently seeing the photo. What once felt so mysterious and hard to grasp…became so CLEAR!!!

What was the photo? It was a photo of a gate, in Jerusalem - ‘The eye of the needle’

What was the passage related to it? Matthew 19:24 - “And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the reign of the Elohim!”

A passage that when you first hear it, feels quite mysterious! At least it did to me all growing up! The many times I just heard it.

But when I saw the photo, and suddenly exclaimed to my friend “WAIT!!!! The eye of the needle is an actual place?!?!?”. I was flabbergasted.

What was the ‘eye of the needle’ in those days? It was where a camel got into gated cities!! In order for the camel to get into the gate it had to take everything off and kneel down. Like you can see in the photo it’s so small you can’t get much through it! A camel PACKED and fully LOADED with things, it’d be impossible!

As I stared at the photo it suddenly hit me, “That’s the disposition of SURRENDER!!”.

When you get to a place of surrender, what position are you in? - you’re on your knees in total humility!

When you do surrender, what is happening? - What you are carrying FALLS OFF!

What would need to fall off a camel to pass through the eye of the needle (gate)? - ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!!!

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And then it hit me, when have I experienced the biggest shifts in my own journey? When has what I wanted to change, finally changed or gotten on the right track that led it there???

The answer - every single time, came right after I surrendered, something I was battling.

• When I surrendered my own fears of what others would think of me.

• When I surrendered my own mistakes of the past.

• When I surrendered the need to have it ALL figured out.

• When I surrendered my own limiting beliefs about HOW to do it!

• When I surrendered the things I treasured most!

• When I surrendered my own desires for what I thought I wanted.

• When I surrendered whatever I was currently carrying!

• When I surrendered me. And realized it’s nothing to do with me at all…I just wanted more of Him.

It’s all about SURRENDER.

It's not an easy place to get to. But when we do, every single time and season that we do it, when we do…we ENTER into the space and place He has for us next!

What if THAT is the key? Are you willing to let it all, fall off?

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I would LOVE to hear what dreams you have for the other side of that gate friend!

I recently shared this inside a private group where we were being challenged for 28 days to show up BOLDLY for life.

The story I shared with them that I want to now share with you, I did back on Valentines Day.

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I shared that, that day a lot was hitting my spirit. I decided to get all fancy even though I had no where to go that day…why?? Well because for the first Valentines day ever something NEW hit me. And it was ME.

I then declared I LOVE MY HEART!!!! And the overcoming JOURNEY it has been on. That I love the whole thing. All of it.

Tears filled my eyes as I said it, and chose to CELEBRATE it ALL that day.

Why did my eyes fill with tears?

Well I’m 38 years old, still single, never married, and that has been a journey up until recently was filled with SO much confusion, fear, regret, and shame.

I thought I’d always be STUCK there. Knowing my heart was in such a place of confusion, more than anything I didn’t want to be the cause of hurting anyone else. I cared so much about other people, so I stayed single. I didn't want to deeply damage another human being. When I knew that I was struggling and in that place.

That was a journey I use to be so disappointed in myself in, I use to carry so much regret, and shame about the road I had LET myself go on. Despite STAYING single because of the fear of hurting anyone and what I struggled with in secret.

I then shared that now, not only am I in a healed place, but my heart is no longer confused, it’s no longer carrying shame!! Tears were welling in my eyes as I confidently said I LOVE MY JOURNEY and I LOVE MY HEART!!!

A few years ago, that would have been hard to say.

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I recently had a conversation with an anonymous friend who I knew from a LONG time ago. We hadn’t talked since, but in messaging I found out that not only had her husband left her, but that he had left her and their children because he was gay.

My heart wanted to weep for my friend. Not because he was gay, but simply for the pain the whole family now faces in simply being broken apart. And it hit me….that could have been me. I could have been the one that HURT so many hearts because I too struggled for SO long with same sex attraction. I could have been the one to hurt others, if I didn’t figure things out FIRST beforehand.

- If that IS you, if you’ve been a part of HURT, if a family has been broken apart (for any reason) - friend, the same God who has forgiven ME for all the things I felt regret or shame in, has already FORGIVEN YOU! -

But for the first time ever, in hearing this friend’s story…I looked to the sky and said “God thank you!!!! Thank you my journey has been what it IS, thank you for every part!! And thank you for walking with me, in every season. Thank you for never leaving me, and thank you for never forsaking me!!!”.

None of this story is to say what the answers were at any point along the way. No journey is the same. And my journey may not be yours.

My only message for you right now is one of HOPE!! Hope that if you do carry anything, like I did...that I believe you CAN get to that place of peace and freedom from it all!

This past Valentine’s Day I shared that for the first Valentines ever…my heart was READY for marriage. It’s ready to be open and honest about everything that I've been through. And it’s no longer in a place of confusion or shame. (that full story will be in book 2 - someday ).

And I can’t wait to give that gift to my future husband.

The gift, that I’ve figured out who I am, and who I’m ready to commit to!

God is so good. I LOVE MY HEART, ALL OF IT!

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For 28 days we declared LOVE over different parts of ourselves. Like I did this last Valentines Day, in the story above.

What started as an “I love my body” challenge became for me a month of declaring love and acceptance over who God designed me as!

It was a month of NEW life amidst healing even more in that journey. And it hit me HE KNOWS what we need to heal. And this month He did that through speaking even more LOVE over His design.

We ended those 28 days with our epic leader - Linda - who shared a story about nail polish, and what happened when she heard Yahaveh (God) speak to hear about it. (God used that nudge in her spirit to then bless over a 100 women who came from the sex-trade with being loved on weeks later on a service trip she was on. And here she had been being made fun of for wanting to bring so many bottles on the trip.)

…and it hit me, how amazing and powerful it is not only when we listen to His Voice about how He sees us, but then how He can USE us even more in the lives of others the more we say YES to what He says. The more we come into agreement that we’re going to CHOOSE what He says or what He tells us to do, no matter what any other voice says around us.

And that’s exactly what He designed us to be!

People who listen to His Voice...and then watch what He does!

Man, has getting trained further as a coach helped ME show up even more authentically with the world.

Back in December, it hit ME while getting coached, HOW I wanted to show up for the world.

Getting coached even as a coach, changes everything.

Who’s coaching you? And how do you want to show up for the world?

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FEELING STUCK LIKE JEN DID?

Click the link below and let’s hop on a quick call and chat!

Well, if you do, then this is for you. And I hope it encourages you!

Just the other night was movie night with the roomie! Getting ready to head to the theatre to catch a flick, it was a bit chilly in Texas here again so I grabbed a jacket. And I was flooded with memories. As He (God) then hit my spirit with all the crazy stories I’ve seen my God do throughout the last 10 years because of the gig stamped on it. All the gigs, and all the hearts come back to mind that He’s connected me to.

He then hit my memory with two moments from just this last week, and the power of what He showed me just in this last week alone. One from a friend who was reading my book, and suddenly messages and says “JEN!!!! Did you see what number is stamped on the bottom of chapter 8 in your book?!” (See top right pic) We both were stunned.

What’s the significance of 111? Well first off, let me just say that I believe God is a God of ORDER. And being a God of order, not only does He work according to certain timelines (like the Hebrew calendar) but that He set things up with incredible PRECISION. So when you study His word, you can see repetition with who He is and how He set things up.

Like with the number 111. It’s all about the awareness of His presence. In the book Numbers That Preach it describes it by saying "It’s like He’s saying 'I’m here with you, and I’m going to bless you'. He is speaking about deep revelation going on in the ordinary parts of your life. The number 111 is all about that, an indicator that God’s presence is here if you’re wiling to humble yourself and seek after Him. That He wants to increase you and bless you in amazing ways!!"

I’m flabbergasted, as that’s exactly what I start talking about with the transition of that very chapter…how I saw Him do incredible things in so many lives around me as I then started hopping from gig to gig in the entertainment industry. And my book was published back in 2019!!! I didn’t plan that, for it to be on page 111!!!

Then sharing that story with another friend, later in the week this other friend says “Jen!! AND it’s on chapter 8…which 8 is the number of new beginnings!” (There’s Biblical context for that). And then this second friend says “it brings to mind Mark 1:11. Do you know what Mark 1:11 says Jen?”. I reply no, and he shares the verse saying “it’s all about the Father declaring over Yeshua (Jesus) how He is well pleased with Him and is going to do great things. If 111 is being brought to your attention, He’s saying the same thing to you friend!! He is well pleased with you and is going to do great things!". WHAAAAAT?!

Well I can definitely say, I have seen Him do great things (already)!!

It’s so easy sometimes, when life feels “slow” or we feel like we’re in the ‘in-between’ to get down or feel defeated as we feel like we're waiting for our “next”.

What a great reminder from a GREAT God yesterday, as He showed me all week how He has been going before me, and is even yet still. Even when I feel like I'm in the "in-between".

And all that, hits me…in just putting on, a jacket.

I share all that today to say, friend if you feel like you’re in the ‘in-between’, know that there is a God out there who goes before you!! There's so much going on, that we DON’T see. I had no idea, the significance of that page, when I wrote my book back in 2019

…but He was amidst it to that very DETAIL. He is amidst YOUR life too friend. In great detail! He is a God of details!!

And I pray that this story, is an encouragement to you too that He is!

FEELING STUCK IN THE ‘in-between’?

Click the link below and let’s hop on a quick call to chat where YOU want to go, so we can get you moving to your NEXT! It’s time to dive in, to the details!

I think I broke Facebook.

Yesterday I posted this photo inside a private facebook group that’s all about celebrating one’s ‘spirit of beauty’ and calls out women to be a BOLD LIGHT - and dare I say BADASS - and I was not expecting to happen, what then followed. (If you’re not a part of this group (and you're female) you need to be btw, it’s led by my incredibly inspiring friend Linda Potgieter whom I met at my very first event with Destiny Global, LLC).

That one post garnered so much attention, as I was responding back to every person who commented, facebook told me I was no longer allowed to talk to people. Who knew I had hit a LIMIT or that they even had one?!!

But I have to back up first. I have to tell YOU the story. What’s the story?

Well, like I mentioned to this private group…"my femininity had been slowly disappearing over the last 15 years. So not only wearing THIS (something so feminine) but just LOOKING at the woman in these photos taken (I didn’t even ask to take them-that’s another story you’ll read below) I didn’t have words. I actually felt beautiful. And that’s a feeling that has been coming back, alongside me being OK with showing more femininity thanks to the influence of that group and several other powerful friends who have been fanning it to flame while celebrating and seeing who I really was. There is so much power when we show up as a LIGHT for others. We get set free. And I know that because it was done for me."

Side note; I don’t even know the last time I wore a dress. #GASP!!!

Second side note; Pretty sure I own less dresses than I do fingers on one hand.

But what’s even crazier about this story, is the timing of it and all the little details. Which were not shared when this was posted.

What do I mean?

Well, Biblically we’re actually in the Hebrew month of SHEVAT. Okay Jen, what does that have to do with anything? Well, when you study what happened during this month there is a pattern of HELP coming and brings a key reminder of where our mindset should be amidst the month...to position ourselves, our minds in a place where we EXCLAIM our help is on they way! Even if we don’t yet see it or feel it. Why? Because life and death is in the power of YOUR tongue.

So as crazy as it may sound, all month as different struggles, thoughts, or things hit my life that were challenging or made me feel STUCK what did I do?

I EXCLAIMED…my help is on the way!!!

I chose to believe it was coming. No I didn’t sit there and do nothing. I took action. But I also chose faith, I chose to believe my help would come.

This is where it gets crazy.

Amidst a month of declaring that for different things, help came in the areas that I wasn’t even expecting!! #SayWhaaaaaat?! To the point that two friends showed up and just totally loved on me, honored me, and helped bring out the femininity that had been being lost. I didn’t know how to bring it back!!

As my day’s plans were totally hijacked lol, I was made to feel like a QUEEN. They did my makeup, went through my entire closet picking out outfits, dressed me, and then took hundreds of photos while we spent the whole day together laughing, and having fun. Without me even asking for ANY of it!! They just did it lol!!

THAT was the context to the posting that garnered so much attention in quotes above. THAT is why these pics were even taken. And THAT is why I’m even in a DRESS.

And THAT is how much Yahaveh (God) loves us, loved me. To the point that as another incredible friend said “You are surrounded by beautiful badass babes who are listening to Gods marching orders in helping you get closer to your goals. He loves you so much and is loving on you!!”. #PerfectlySaid

And what does all that even really mean? It shows that HE knew what was needed NEXT. He knows what IS next, and it’s yet one further glimpse at how present He is amidst the things we not only struggle with, but how He’s right there beside us, as we keep taking one step further FORWARD in faith!!

I never imagined that so much healing would still be happening in this community (of Destiny Global, LLC) even AFTER my own coach retired. But that’s exactly what’s happening. How? Because her legacy, HIS legacy is still here. And by here I mean amidst the people that she trained. Amidst the people who now live their lives with so much COURAGE. Amidst the people who carry on the heart for others, like she did! Amidst the people who are a part of every single part of this post.

He makes all things NEW.

How’s that for unreal timing for this next week Thursday as I prepare to do my very first webinar, about that very thing. Stepping into the NEW. #HEREWEGO

What do YOU need to declare over YOUR life friend? Are you ready to take one step forward towards YOUR goals?

I believe in you! And I believe there's a God out there who's ready to walk right beside you as you do. #LetsGO

Every January, since 2004 memories fill my brain - memories of dad’s suicide and the events of the day, that week, that year(s).

But looking at THESE photos in my ‘memories’ as they popped up today on FB something hit me.

The tears that fill my eyes are not the bad kind. They’re the good kind. The kind that come from a place deep within my soul that shouts “I still can’t believe THESE new memories even happened that day”!!

And this was just 3 years ago. 3 years ago I had NO IDEA what life would even look like now TODAY. I probably would have wept even harder than I did that weekend after this memory happened if I knew THIS was coming today. What life is, today.

I never imagined the MEMORIES OF THE NEW…would someday out-shadow the MEMORIES OF THE OLD.

To the point that it’s no longer the old memories that make me cry. It’s the NEW ones, the good ones. The ones where I can’t believe where life has gotten to all these years later.

Friend I don’t know what painful, or horrific memories you hold. But can you imagine a day, where NEW memories TAKE OVER the old?

If you would have told me years prior what I’d be doing now I would have said “Hah! I’m not qualified to do that! I don’t know how to do that?! How would I even do that if I wanted to?!” And quite frankly …”how could it be me? Who am I to help them?”.

But the more I stepped into listening for that Voice (the one I talk about in my book) - HIS Voice, the more realized it was never about me at all.

It was about WHO HE IS.

And what does that Voice say about NEW things?

Isaiah 43:19 states “BEHOLD! I am doing a NEW thing! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert!"

What VOICE are you going to listen to?

The voice of the past? Or the Voice of the Creator of the Heavens & Earth who promises that in the event of PAIN He will cause something NEW to be born!!

Friend if you’re like me, and you’ve had to overcome a LOT in your journey I get it.

But the more I chose to focus on the NEW, run to the NEW, take action on the NEW, get training and accountability to keep me moving FORWARD amidst the NEW…it all started to dynamically change.

Did you hear that?

Are you ready to move OUT of the past? You can’t change it. You can’t change what happened to you. Just like I can't.

Today is a NEW day, and if you’re ready to run at the NEW, and move forward in the NEW…send me a message! I would love to RUN WITH YOU!!

Now being a coach with the BEST FREAKING COMPANY on the planet - Destiny Global, LLC - come on now, have you seen the results of not only my story but so many friends I know?! That’s precisely what we’re doing.

We’re running at the NEW, and wow is it exciting! And that Voice He is amidst it. He is making all things…NEW.

Are you ready for YOUR new?

Click here>

Have you ever felt a FIRE inside you to be crazy transparent? But been completely terrified of what that means?

I get it.

That was me before I wrote my book. Being THAT vulnerable was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But now on the other side, I’d do it again in a heartbeat…because it’s been the BEST thing I’ve ever done for what it’s helped do, for others.

The stories. The lives. I wish I could tell you them all. And they’re still pouring in.

But what I want to tell you today is more of that authentic journey.

Consider this a SNEAK PEEK to ‘Book 2’.

With that said; here’s the story…

Back at my recent coaching training something epic happened. Two COURAGEOUS friends, were I believe placed beside me that week not only to have FUN, but to feel safe, process further and be hit by what I was hit with in order to keep RUNNING forward leaping over the obstacles that can continue to be placed in our paths. They inspired me, loved me, prayed over me, and continued to call out both directly and indirectly the deep desires of my heart but SAW what He had placed inside of me to do and helped continue to bring it forth!

I watched one of these two friends - April Brown - lead our whole training, SURRENDERING so much, do HARD things and COURAGEOUSLY inspire us to “take the mask off”.

Why? Because “authenticity is our greatest asset. It’s not easy, but it’s simple” – AB.

That in sharing the pain, the ugly, the mess ups, and the imperfections that we truly help people! That we have to SURRENDER in order to give our clients what we want to…and what do I want to give YOU?

My AUTHENTICITY!

I can’t change your life for you. But in being authentic with my own, maybe, just maybe, some portion of it will inspire YOU that you too can overcome really HARD things!

So what am I being authentic with you today on? Well…

I’m 38 years old, single, and there’s many reasons that has been my journey. One of them is because of my internal battles.

I hate labels. So in sharing this, it’s NOT to put any label on myself. It’s to be transparent with my struggle. Why? Because we all struggle. And what I don’t want is for that person out there who is struggling to think they are alone. That it will never get better. Or that it will not ever become clear.

One part of why I have struggled is because of same-sex attraction.

What is my label? My label is “I have battled it out with my God”. And that journey is one of the most heart-wrenching, raw, and beautiful journey’s I have been on. A journey I had kept a mask on with and with my book…it came off!

It came off because I know there’s people out there who feel alone, and I care more about that person than I do about what anyone may think of me.

I know who I am. Running, harder, faster, and falling more in love with my Creator is the only reason I’m at where I’m at today.

A place of PEACE. A place I never thought I’d ever get to.

If you’re struggling, I get it. If you don’t know the answers, feel confused, or trapped, I understand.

Lay it before the Creator's feet, no matter WHAT it is! – simply TELL Him where you’re at. You don’t have to know the answers. And I’m not here to give you any. Or even give you mine.

Let Him lead you. He WILL light the path!

A coach doesn’t lead a team to a WIN without knowing His players. YOUR Coach, your heavenly Father knows YOU! He knows you better than you know you. Lay it at His feet, you WILL get there. You WILL win. And you WILL get to a place of total PEACE.

And that peace, that peace I have now friend. I wouldn’t trade anything for it. ANYTHING.

And I would never want to go back to where I use to be. Feeling absolutely STUCK, and that I would be confused, and trapped forever.

Friend. Take the mask off before your Father!

Live life fearlessly! There is nothing I want more than more of HIM.

I could cry and probably will as I now write this next part, but the second friend mentioned above - Jacqueline Yaich - had gifted me with something incredibly thoughtful at the start of the training week. It’s thoughtfulness perfectly & poetically matched her and her husband’s impact on my life already…how do I mean? Because His timing with them both, had been perfect, powerful and brought so much LIGHT! He had been up to much already with their entrance into my life and I knew He was up to even more in it’s gifting.

The gift? A T-shirt (the one I’m wearing) in celebration of who she saw, a “Beautiful Badass”. There’s too much to the meaning behind it to share now, but I can’t even describe how SEEN, and celebrated I felt, for who I was. For who I was designed to be. And how much I saw HIM in it’s gifting.

Later in sharing why she bought the WHITE one specifically saying she’d normally buy black but felt like it represented where I was right now…coming more into the LIGHT. I was finding MY answers. I was finding my Peace. I was finding MORE of Him!

Later that day, no joke, I was sitting amidst another session and I get a buzz on my phone. The “verse of the day” from my Bible app…and what pops up??? …”Therefore Yeshua spoke to them again, saying, ‘I am the LIGHT of the world. He who follows me shall by no means walk in darkness but POSESS the LIGHT of life!”. …….I immediately thought of the shirt, why white was chosen, and I was stunned at it’s timing on my phone. The timing of this shirt. The timing of these friends in my life. And the timing of Him. I saw it all.

As the week continued to go by, these two friends watched me BATTLE the desire to be even more authentic, as it was as if Yahaveh was taking a gavelin and swinging it right into that SPOT I needed to both feel it and hear it because He knew that’s what I wanted to do more than anything!

Continue to be AUTHENTIC with YOU!

As I battled, I shared this very post with another coach in attendance. Who in sharing it I knew they didn’t battle with the same things I did but they simply asked me how my week had been, as I shared it, and she BURST into tears. He was telling HER to take off the mask about something completely unrelated as I read it!! I immediately saw what was coming with being even more authentic.

Which is part of why I’m here today, sharing all this. That verse that had popped up that day on my phone – John 8:12 – was yet another nugget in the trail of the treasures on the map that was unfolding that week.

Later this friend shared more about the context behind the verse - how the passage comes from the story of the woman at the well and how much opposition there even was for that chapter of the Bible to even be in there! I learned they were questioning even IT’S authenticity to be in there at all!!

How crazy is that for how many people can relate to this woman’s journey. And all that she was carrying?!! And how alone she felt?! But what happened in that space and how Yahaveh (God) made her feel SEEN. He knew the moment in her journey when and where to engage with her. He didn’t rush her to that moment. He knew when and where she would be ready to let a little more LIGHT in, to all the darkness she felt. What GRACE in love.

And it hit me…

How tragic would that be if THIS woman’s story wasn’t in there?

What an INJUSTICE that would be for all the people who have been able to relate to her - and to their God!

What an INJUSTICE that would be if we too REMOVED the authentic parts of our own stories??

What an INJUSTICE that would be if we stayed silent about them?

What an INJUSTICE that would be for our own freedom?

So that is why I am sharing all this with you TODAY.

Be bold friend. Be fearless. Be YOU! Be that BEAUTIFUL BADASS inside of you!

And allow grace for yourself in the process. When you’re ready to take another step towards more authenticity, I am ready to CHEER you on!

As we begin 2022 – may now more than ever, we all be more AUTHENTIC with eachother! And may you find friends who call out the GREATNESS in you!

I believe in you! And I believe you can do HARD things!

P.S. Sponsored by #TheOnAndOnAnonSupportGroup

It’s crazy how much we can be the one who is most BRUTAL to ourselves. To our own mind. Our thoughts. And our own progress.

We can literally be the very ONE who is keeping us from everything that we’ve ever wanted.

But how many of us give time, and space to work through those very things?

Over time, without doing so, they gnaw at you. Continuing to take bites out of everything you’re suppose to be! And at times you don’t even realize it!!

Ever found yourself wishing that “thing” could just be ERASED? 

Me too.

FORGIVING myself is and has been the hardest thing for me. 

Last night I was on a call with some amazing friends in the Destiny Global community and something came out of me I wasn’t expecting. 

Digging deeper I shared how ”I was having a hard time forgiving myself because I LOVED my Yahaveh more than anything else in this life and I didn’t want to disappoint him!!!” as the tears streamed down my face.

But what’s beautiful about what I shared next. Is that my Yahaveh had SEEN me, and what He had just recently done about that very thought. 

I then shared about just a few days ago how another friend who has NEVER had me in their dreams had a dream with me in it. In the dream we were on the beach looking at our shadows in the sand. We were writing in the sand and there was just one word written…”FORGIVEN”.

Here I was STRUGGLING to forgive myself, despite knowing that how I was thinking, was NOT how my God viewed me. I knew if He could hear my thoughts, he would SHOUT his epic love for me and tell me how wrong my thoughts were.

Well, He saw my internal battle, and He SPOKE!

Just one word. The one word I needed to hear from the One, I wanted more than anything not to disappoint.

As a friend on the call then shared “Jen, sometimes there can be things that are literally like SUSPENDERS strapping us down…when we are meant to RISE!”.

The friend on the call then shared Isaiah 61 - The year of the Lord’s favor saying “Jen!!!! This is you…

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a] 2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”

This friend was right. That thing was strapping me down, when I was meant to be FREE. It had been strapping me down when I LITERALLY had Isaiah 61 tattoo-ed on my arm and she had no idea when she said it!!

When my Yahaveh LITERALLY had given his son’s life so that I could be FREE. “God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were STILL sinners!”. STILL sinners. 

Stop beating yourself up friend for THAT thing!! You were meant to be FREE!

Friend, don’t let THAT thing strap you down from what YOU were designed to do! 

~Jen

CAUTION! Super vulnerable post:

A few weeks ago while at a Conference, and working through an exercise where we had to identify things in our mindsets and then use a tool to trace where that mindset came from something powerful hit me;

I realized I had a mindset that everything HAD to be perfect or that I had to be perfect.

As I dug deeper and continued to ask myself…

Q: Why Jen?

A: …Because it’s too important to succeed. So many people are hurting!

Q: Why Jen?

A: …Because I have to figure it all out, because so many are struggling. I can’t make a mistake because they won’t trust me. They won’t believe it will work for them.

Q: Why?

A: …Because when you make mistakes people stop trusting you.

Q: When did you feel like people didn’t trust you Jen because of a mistake you made?

And as I answered this next question it hit me, at one point in my story I had felt who I was had been misunderstood, my actions, everything, as mistakes were made in one of my toughest seasons. As I made MISTAKES.

And as tears flew from my eyes I realized I had developed a belief that if I made a mistake…that I wasn’t trustworthy.

And THAT was one reason why I continued to be afraid of being transparent with mistakes. DESPITE being someone who had already been so transparent and faced her biggest fears, in writing her first book!!

“Your desires reveal your DESIGN”

...and here I had/have a desire to be fully transparent to HELP PEOPLE, and my own mindsets my own beliefs were at times still holding me back.

That day at the conference, I CHOSE a new belief, after walking myself through the forgiveness of that moment in my past, and I chose to believe I AM TRUSTWORTHY EVEN WHEN I MAKE MISTAKES.

“The things we let our mind believe either BIRTH or DESTROY our dreams”. - Carmen O'Quinn

And sometimes, if you’re like me they can be DESTROYING the very thing that your heart BLEEDS to do more than anything else in this world. Helping people who are hurting. And all the while know the importance of vulnerability and transparency in that, to do that very thing.

If you don’t like what is destroying you friend, you’re the only one who can change it.

It wasn’t until I stopped letting my past dictate my future that it all changed. That I got rid of the labels I had on myself.

CHOOSE YOUR LABEL FRIEND.

If you need someone to believe in YOU, I do friend!!

The label wasn’t where I was at…it’s where I’m going.

Sometimes life can hit you with so many things! Believe me, I get it.

But I am CHOOSING my label, and I am an Overcomer!

P.S. And for those wondering why I keep going back to these same conferences...this is why. The work is never done!

~Jen

Who do you know that feels STUCK?
Who do you know that could use some accountability to just keep moving FORWARD?

Hi friend!

I’m so glad you’re here. Why?

Because we need eachother.

I get what it's like to feel STUCK.

I use to feel STUCK when;

…I lost my dad.

…I was terrified of talking to people. (Surprise to those who are new friends - I use to be so shy people wondered if I even talked!)

…I was terrified of public speaking to the point I’d rather die than get up in front of people.

…I just wanted to help people, but I had NO IDEA how to do it or what it should look like.

…I was terrified of being rejected, being fully transparent and loosing MORE people that I loved.

…I was afraid I’d be alone the rest of my life.

…I thought I’d be in debt the REST of my life.

…I was living paycheck to paycheck or, worse.

...when I didn't know WHO to go to for help.

You don’t have to stay there.

Feeling STUCK is just an OPPORTUNITY. It’s an opportunity for your greatest SUCCESS.

I never imagined I’d be where I’m at now with ALL of those above STUCKS.

Life can get easier, better, more full of peace, hope, and FREEDOM friend.

If you’re feeling STUCK, reach out! I would love to chat with you!

You are NOT alone. Let’s do this TOGETHER.

~Jen.